A 2- or 3-year-old who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example, should be told in a calm, neutral voice why the behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down.
That said, even though toddler hitting is normal, that doesn't mean it's acceptable — or that you should wait for them to grow out of the behavior. Toddler hitting, which can start as early as around a year, can be stopped even if a toddler doesn't truly understand why it's “wrong.”
Research. There is a bunch of research that is done on the effects of parenting and disciplining on kids of every age, but let me just save you the trouble, and let you know that NO. You are most likely not scarring your child for life when you yell at them or lose your cool every once in a while.
Yes, yelling can be used as a weapon, and a dangerous one at that. Research shows that verbal abuse can, in extreme situations, be as psychologically damaging as physical abuse. But yelling can also be used as a tool, one that lets parents release a little steam and, sometimes, gets kids to listen.
Aggressive behavior in toddlers (hitting, kicking, biting, etc.) usually peaks around age two, a time when toddlers have very strong feelings but are not yet able to use language effectively to express themselves. Toddlers also don't have the self-control to stop themselves from acting on their feelings.
Why do they do it? All behaviour is communicating something, says Alexandra Carter, a child psychologist in Port Moody, BC. So your child is likely frustrated or looking for attention. The banging or hitting may even be self-stimulatory—meaning it feels good and is meeting a sensory need.
Ignoring is usually most effective for behaviors like whining, crying when nothing is physically wrong or hurting, and tantrums. These misbehaviors are often done for attention. If parents, friends, family, or other caregivers consistently ignore these behaviors, they will eventually stop.
Signs and symptoms of challenging behaviour
defiance (e.g. refusing to follow your requests) fussiness (e.g. refusal to eat certain foods or wear certain clothes) hurting other people (e.g. biting, kicking) excessive anger when the child doesn't get their own way.
Just like the rest of us, toddlers don't always listen. But unlike us, there's often good reasons for this. Being absorbed in their playtime, not understanding complex instructions, and not getting the attention they need from you, can all impact on how much your toddler listens.
Hitting and biting tend to subside when the child reaches the age of 3. If this behavior continues beyond the "terrible twos," Jenkins recommends that parents seek professional advice to help figure out how to support their child.
Teach Kids that Aggression is Wrong
For younger children, those between 18 months and 2 years, keep it simple. Hold them and explain, “No hitting. It is wrong.” Remember that you may have to repeat this rule numerous times, using the same words, until your child gets it.
Reinforcing good behaviors with positive consequences can encourage your child to stop hitting. For example, reward your child for using "gentle touches.” Break the day up into several time periods where he can earn stickers or tokens for good behaviors. You can also praise your child when they use gentle touches.
Babies put things into their mouths to explore and learn through taste and touch. At 6-12 months, biting, pinching and hair-pulling also help babies work out cause and effect. It's a way of getting to know their world. For example, your baby bites you and then watches to see what you'll do.
Turns out a lot of it has to do with her age. Experts say it's typical for toddlers to make the parent who's with them the most their main target for bad behavior.
Biting or chewing hard objects is part of stimming behaviours in autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Stimming is a self-regulatory mechanism for people with ASD to cope with anxiety.