Back talking is a normal part of child development that can happen at any age, starting as early as when a toddler masters the word "No!" A child who talks back may be tired, cranky, testing her boundaries, or trying to get more control over her life.
Your kids may be talking back simply to get a rise out of you–so don't give them the satisfaction! Simply say, “I feel hurt by the way you're talking to me. When I hear that tone of voice, I'm going to walk away. We can talk again when you can speak respectfully to me.” Then walk away.
Disrespectful behavior often comes down to kids having poor problem-solving skills and a lack of knowledge about how to be more respectful as they pull away. Often when kids separate from you they do it all wrong before they learn how to do it right.
From tantrums and meltdowns to asserting their independence by saying "no" or ignoring the rules, these 3- and 4-year-old behaviors are normal. In fact, they are a natural part of growing up.
Why is my child acting so defiant? As your child gets older, they start to develop a stronger and more secure sense of their own identity. They're not as dependent on you as they used to be, and they may even be developing a bit of a rebellious streak. Defiance is how a toddler or young child asserts themselves.
At this age, your child is still learning how to manage tough feelings, such as disappointment or anger when they can't do things they want. Being angry is OK, but your child has to learn that hurling objects and slamming doors is always against the rules.
Due to everything going on in the brain at this time, four-year-olds are inherently stressed due to being on high alert. Many parents scoff at the idea that a four-year-old has anything to be stressed about, but at this age, anything can be a stressor.
Preschoolers (4-5 years)
Use the same consequences you did in their toddler years, says Arquette, in addition to taking away toys or privileges for a short time. “For example, if your child is fighting over a toy, then put the toy in timeout for 20 minutes.
Why toddlers use the third person to refer to themselves: Your tot might call himself by his first name for the same reason he mixes up “him” and “her” and other toddler words — he's still learning to use pronouns and hasn't heard enough examples to ace the usage.
When children are unable to speak around certain people or in certain settings, they may have an anxiety disorder called selective mutism (SM). It is common for kids with SM to be very chatty at home with family but silent at school. Parents typically start noticing signs of SM when a child is three or four years old.
Unlike some adults, children often do not want to talk about difficult situations. Sometimes this is because a child is not as concerned about the situation as we as adults are. Sometimes this is because a child doesn't know how to talk about it - or is finding it difficult to find the words to express themselves.
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
From biting at daycare to excluding a sibling from play, parents are often caught off guard when they hear or see their preschooler being mean. It's important for us to remember that being involved in conflict is common as kids are learning to socially interact with others.
From the age of 3 years, most preschoolers start to understand what's acceptable behaviour and what isn't. They'll test out different behaviours, and they might behave in certain ways more than once as they learn about consequences.
Ignoring is usually most effective for behaviors like whining, crying when nothing is physically wrong or hurting, and tantrums. These misbehaviors are often done for attention. If parents, friends, family, or other caregivers consistently ignore these behaviors, they will eventually stop.