If we were to lose them, we would also lose the spotlight that shines on them. We may feel resistant to leaving, because we're afraid of sacrificing the feeling of specialness we gained by being linked to them.
Additionally, if it wasn't their decision to leave, they cannot tolerate rejection. Due to their underlying shame and insecurity, they find it humiliating. Rather than accept you “quit,” they go on the offense and “fire” you.
Educateyourself. Find out more about the disorder. It can help you understand the narcissist's strengths and weaknesses and learn how to handle them better. ...
Create boundaries. Be clear about your boundaries. ...
Speak up for yourself. When you need something, be clear and concise.
These actions are their last attempts to deal with you. The best way to say goodbye to a narcissist is to ignore all their attacks in this phase. It's unpleasant, horrible and rude – I know, but this is just their tactic to intimidate you. In this phase, their contempt will be apparent to see.
There is really only one way to break the narcissistic abuse cycle and heal from it's impact; that's through therapy. However, recovering from a trauma of any kind requires more than simply talking about one's feelings.
Leaving a narcissist is similar to breaking a heroin addiction. It is painful and difficult, but in the end, you get your life back. In order to get yourself through the hardest parts of the initial break, you must allow yourself to experience the discomfort and anxiety, and let yourself grieve your loss.
You need not justify your feelings or explain your thoughts. The more you do, the more you are at risk of them gaslighting you to induce self-doubt. Defending yourself to narcissists is generally a waste of time.
What is the healthy way to deal with a narcissist?
How to Deal With a Narcissistic Family Member
Avoid Direct Confrontation. Because those with NPD are extremely sensitive to criticism, calling a true narcissist a narcissist typically backfires and worsens the situation. ...
Will a narcissist leave you alone if you ignore them?
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
What happens when a narcissist can't control you anymore?
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
Take control of a narcissist's schedule to upset them.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.