Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.
If you have the energy, acknowledge the narcissist's feelings and let them know what they're feeling has significance. Encourage them to talk about how they're feeling and work toward having a conversation about how the silent treatment affects you and better ways to get your feelings across than the silent treatment.
When the narcissist ignores, try to remember it is about them and not about you, to help you feel more in control of a situation you have no control over.
The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away.
It would typically last about two weeks.
When used in relationships, silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. Being ignored stimulates the part of the brain that detects physical pain, so the silent treatment is very emotionally and physically painful. It can lead to negative emotions, like distress and anger.
Red flag. The silent treatment might seem like a convenient way to opt out of a conversation that is bothering you but it's also super unhealthy. What most people don't know, is that the cold shoulder is a subtle form of manipulation.
More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you. Your best bet is to ignore them the way they ignored you earlier.
The narcissist can go for weeks without speaking to you, with the implication being that you need them more than they need you. You will be the one to beg for forgiveness and acquiesce to their demands. Sometimes the silent treatment never ends.
Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don't exist.
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
The silent treatment can be deliberate and enacted with some pleasure and cruelty, which is why it is named as an indicator or aspect of abusive relationships, and can be a form of domestic violence.
Some common games someone with narcissistic personality disorder might engage in include: blame shifting. deception. gaslighting.
The silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks or months. Some people do this because they are genuinely hurt and unable to speak. When they do feel able to talk, it'll be a two-way conversation. A narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish you.
Texts from a Mind Reader
When you fail to respond to their text within five minutes or less, the narcissist just knows you blew them off because you don't really care about them—or you were too busy flirting with someone else—or you wanted them to feel insecure about the relationship.