While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.
For many people who are holding onto someone who doesn't love them, they are doing so because they are scared. They are scared of how their person will react if they leave. They are scared of the words of anger, that they might hear. They are afraid things might get physical.
Personality characteristics and behaviors associated with the inability to let go include innate insecurity and childhood abandonment trauma. By understanding why this happens, many people can learn to choose better partners or become more resilient for when loss is inevitable.
According to Helen Fisher and her colleagues, the reason romantic rejection gets us hooked is that this sort of rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings.
The answer is Dopamine. A drug like chemical that pulsates the body in search of pleasure. The dopamine-driven reward loop triggers a rush of euphoric drug-like highs when chasing a crush and the desire to experience them repeatedly.
Why does it hurt so much when someone doesn't want you?
The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That's why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain.
Why would someone stay with someone they don't love?
She says that there are "self-focused" reasons why people choose to remain in a relationship – because of the time, resources and emotions they've invested in it, or because they don't have good alternatives – but the research shows they also make "pro-social" altruistic decisions to stay because they feel their mates ...
Why is he keeping me around if he doesn t want me?
When a man likes you but doesn't want a relationship, he will seek out friendly interactions because you're available. Your willingness to respond to his texts or answer his calls may be all that's keeping him around. Talking to you when he is bored could be helping him pass the time.
"If you feel like your person still brings out the best in you even during tough times — if you find yourself apologizing when you're wrong, trying to be a better listener, or laughing your way out of arguments — you've got a relationship worth working on. "
Trauma or experiences in childhood that lead to an insecure attachment style may lead to fear of abandonment. People with a fear of abandonment may develop obsessive tendencies. People may be fearful to be alone and they may make threats or take impulsive actions in order to prevent a partner from leaving.
An addiction to a person involves obsessive thoughts about the relationship, feelings of hope, anticipation, waiting, confusion, and desperation. Addictive relationships are toxic and very powerful. Healthy relationships do not involve constant drama and continual feelings of longing.
What is it called when you love someone you can't have?
Unrequited love refers to having romantic feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. It can be a painful experience, but there are ways to cope and move on. You may find it helpful to reflect on your feelings, work with a therapist, set boundaries, and learn more about attachment theory and relationships.
Many people feel a sense of grief for the person and relationship they lost. Your significant other might very well experience intense sadness after you walk away as he grieves for what you had together. Being dumped can also cause him to question his self-worth and lower his self-esteem. He may miss you.
