If you know your friend has a secret, just ask them to tell you. No matter their decision, accept and move on from it. Ask in a patient and non-confrontational manner. Assure the person you want to know because you support them and that you will keep the secret to yourself.
Some common synonyms of secretive are reserved, reticent, silent, and taciturn. While all these words mean "showing restraint in speaking," secretive, too, implies reticence but usually carries a suggestion of deviousness and lack of frankness or of an often ostentatious will to conceal.
Secret Intelligence Service Trains Young People To Use Their Minds And Bodies As Weapons
19 related questions found
What are the psychological effects of keeping secrets?
The emotional, mental, physical and spiritual impact of secrets are well documented. In fact, research suggests keeping secrets can significantly boost stress hormones, impact blood pressure, inhibit sleep, contribute to mental health and substance use disorders and even increase chronic pain.
Coercion requires only power. We usually equate coercion with obvious force, but sometimes it's far more subtle. If you want people to stop smoking, for example, you don't need to make it illegal; you can simply make smoking expensive (raise taxes) or offer bribes (lower health insurance premiums).
How do you get someone to tell you something they are hiding?
Play Good Cop
Be reassuring. Let them know what they did is understandable. ...
Minimize consequences. What will happen if they confess?
The release. Explain that after divulging information, they will come out better—either be a better person, have a better outcome, or just feel relieved.
"If you're holding information back from other people around you, you feel inauthentic for doing so," Dr. Slepian says. The combination of feeling like a phony and thinking about your secret will then further hurt your wellbeing, he says. The content of your secret will also influence how it feels for you to keep it.
The most common have to do with past lies, finances, romantic attraction, sexual behavior, and desire for someone other than your spouse or partner. Family secrets, like abuse and mental-health problems, are high on the list too. Of course, not all of these secrets hurt the secret keeper.
The Canadian Consumer Magazine quotes a research report saying that the 12 most persuasive words in the English language are: You, money save, new, results, health, easy, safety, love, discovery, proven and guarantee.
People keep secrets for a multitude of reasons. Maybe they feel embarrassed or shame about something, they feel they might get in trouble (with the law or with a person), or they feel like their relationship with somebody might be destroyed should the big secret be revealed.
Manipulation in intimate relationships can take many forms, including exaggeration, guilt, gift-giving or selectively showing affection, secret-keeping, and passive aggression.
When a person is secretive, they seem mysterious because they don't reveal much about themselves. You can also be secretive about something specific — you might be suspicious of your sister's secretive behavior until you realize she's been planning a surprise party for your birthday.
