Blink rapidly This is a way to clear up any tears, but won't just stop them from rolling down your face. You'll also keep them from forming. If you're unable to blink rapidly, try blinking slowly. If you open your eyes wide, you can cut off the flow of tears before they start.
It's not uncommon to not cry at funerals, even if you were very close to the deceased. This is because funerals are often a time for celebrating a life, rather than grieving a loss. There may also be a lot of people around who are emotional, which can make it difficult to express your own emotions.
Sadness. This is perhaps the most common and universal emotion to experience at a funeral. The experience of loss naturally results in sadness, and the more you loved and cherished the one you lost, the more sadness you'll probably feel.
Here are some examples of what NOT to say at a funeral:
S/he has had a long meaningful life. Don't worry too much, you will be fine. I have been through this, and I'm sure you too can be fine. Look on the bright side, she is in a better place now.
Necrophobia is a specific phobia of death, or things associated with it, such as funerals, coffins and graveyards. Most of the time, however, our worries and nerves are linked to other things such as social anxiety or difficulty expressing emotion.
Feelings during the funeral
Often funerals can bring up thoughts of other people who have died. It's quite common to find that you are grieving someone you didn't expect to. Sometimes people feel worried or even guilty that they are not focussing on the 'right' feelings or even the right person. But it's very normal.
While you should generally steer clear of bright colours and loud prints (unless otherwise requested), other things to avoid include very revealing or overly casual clothes, like ripped jeans, sheer tops or pieces with inappropriate cut-out details. Accessory-wise, keep things minimal.
Instead, we want to reassure those who aren't crying that it's okay. Crying isn't a required step in grieving a loss; it is not a measure of how much you love the person who died, and you can still grieve healthily even if the tears don't flow.
They might close their eyes frequently or they might be half-open. Facial muscles may relax and the jaw can drop. Skin can become very pale. Breathing can alternate between loud rasping breaths and quiet breathing.
“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”
While it's usually a good idea to attend the funeral if you're close to the deceased or the family, this isn't always the case. You shouldn't feel wrong about not wanting to attend the funeral, especially if you have a legitimate conflict.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
Expect service to last between half an hour to one hour; longer for public figures, or if there are lengthy readings or speeches. A clergy member or other officiant presides over the funeral service, and a printed program is generally provided to guests.
Visual or auditory hallucinations are often part of the dying experience. The appearance of family members or loved ones who have died is common. These visions are considered normal. The dying may turn their focus to “another world” and talk to people or see things that others do not see.
Research suggests that even as your body transitions into unconsciousness, it's possible that you'll still be able to feel comforting touches from your loved ones and hear them speaking. Touch and hearing are the last senses to go when we die.
After someone dies, it's normal to see or hear them. Some people also reporting sensing the smell or warmth of someone close to them, or just feel a very strong sense of their presence. Sometimes these feelings can be very powerful.
Feeling disconnected from others and showing little emotion—or not feeling anything at all—is a normal part of the grieving process for many people. Losing someone you love is jolt to your mind and body, and numbness can be a reaction to that. Avoid judging yourself for not grieving in some preconceived “correct” way.