They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience. To them, life is merely a game of taking power and control and getting what they want. They see vulnerability as a weakness and staying invulnerable is a great way to hide who they really are.
While most people engage in manipulation from time to time, a chronic pattern of manipulation can indicate an underlying mental health concern. Manipulation is particularly common with personality disorder diagnoses such as borderline personality (BPD) and narcissistic personality (NPD).
The manipulator may experience physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual distress due to a guilty conscience and shame. The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Characterized by a fragile, fluctuating self-image and a profound fear of abandonment, borderlines can be master manipulators. Their controlling behaviors may range from subtle and ingratiating to threatening and violent.
In some cases, ignoring a manipulator may cause them to lose interest in their target. Since manipulators typically seek control and validation, a lack of response might make them feel insignificant and prompt them to move on to someone more susceptible to their tactics.
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone.
It can usually be difficult for a person to know if they're being manipulated. Even some manipulators are sometimes not aware of their actions, so it can be really confusing to figure out when someone is a victim of manipulation. Manipulators often use fraudulent ways of gaining power over someone's emotions.
Depression is very real and is not a tool of manipulation used to control others. However, the person with depression may employ manipulative behaviors. Depression doesn't develop in a vacuum. The person who has depression may also have a manipulative personality.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Even without being conscious of it they will distance themselves from you. Thus manipulation can be effective but it usually takes up too much energy and ends up leaving you feeling lonely and disconnected. Not to mention, manipulation will prevent you from using your innate power and talents.
Motivations of Manipulators
a strong need to attain feelings of power and superiority in relationships with others. a want and need to feel in control. a desire to gain a feeling of power over others in order to raise their perception of self-esteem.
Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder. Manipulation is also correlated with higher levels of emotional intelligence, and is a chief component of the personality construct dubbed Machiavellianism.
Let's recap. Manipulation isn't a formal symptom of bipolar disorder, although some people with the condition may exhibit this behavior. In some cases, manipulative behavior is a result of living with another mental health condition, such as personality disorders, substance use disorders, or trauma.
There is nothing worse than trying to live or get along with a manipulative person. Everything has to go their way or you suffer the consequences. The moment you put a stop to people taking advantage of you and disrespecting you is when they define you as difficult, selfish and crazy. Manipulators hate boundaries.
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.