Borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating may occur due to the impulsivity associated with this mental health condition. Recent research has shown people with BPD are more sexually impulsive and likely to engage in risky sexual behavior than those without BPD.
Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating. Rather, a hallmark feature of borderline personality—impulsive behavior—sometimes manifests as sexual preoccupation, early sexual exposure, casual sexual relationships, and promiscuity.
The Connection Between BPD and Lying
Lying, like other signs and symptoms of the condition, tends to occur because the person with BPD is unable to regulate their feelings and impulses. It's an act borne out of pain and fear. Often, people with BPD even believe their own lies.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves. The victim of gaslighting often asks “what did I do?” and finds themselves eventually questioning and second guessing everything they do.
A person with borderline personality disorder tends to anxiously avoid being separated from or abandoned by people they care about. They might go to extreme lengths such as stalking people they care about through tracking their phone or following them.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
In many cases, people think their spouse is cheating on them because either they've cheated on someone in the past or are about to. Psychologists say that projection is a low-level coping skill, where people who cheat or think of cheating are likely to project the same thoughts on their partners.
People who suffer from BPD show erratic mood-swings and find it difficult to trust and understand the motives of others. As a result, they suffer from fraught personal relationships with friends, colleagues and partners.
Self-sabotaging (relationships, jobs, etc.) is a fairly common habit of people with borderline personality disorder.
Yes, those living with BPD often experience heightened emotions and fears of abandonment, but that certainly doesn't make them unlovable, let alone monstrous. A relationship with someone who lives with BPD is just like any other; it depends on many of the same factors such as trust, understanding and communication.
The discouraged borderline exhibits clingy and codependent behavior, tending to follow along in a group setting although seeming dejected. They are usually brimming with disappointment and anger under the surface directed at those around them.
Oversharing
“I overshare a lot. Like I tell total strangers about my sex life, being raped in high school, my family hating me and not wanting me, and other closely personal information. But I don't tell close friends the same information.” — Steven H.
What are common symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder? Individuals with borderline personalities may become particularly intimate, needy, paranoid, clingy or over involved in relationships in order to ensure comfort within a relationship and prevent abandonment.
BPD splitting ruins relationships since the person can misconstrue the behaviours of others when their feelings are brought up in the relationship. Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them.
Make it clear that compulsive lying is not enough to end your respect or esteem for them. You can love a liar. But do also make it clear that your trust has waned or diminished. Liars often believe that if they stop lying, they will lose your approval.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
People with BPD have a strong desire for intimate relationships. This is due, in part, to their fear of abandonment, but also to their love of people and desire for intimate ties. Consequently, people with BPD tend to have passionate relationships.
Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) commonly have a favorite person (FP), whom they are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on.