You always put others before yourself. You tend to agree with people; you're compliant. You find yourself adopting other people's styles, clothes, language. You really want to fit in and for people to like you.
“When we're always accommodating others, we can start to feel invisible, unimportant, [and disconnected].” Being overly nice can even lead to a sort of identity crisis. “When you're always available for others, you tend to lose the sense of who you are, what you want, and how you feel,” D'Angelo says.
People with Williams syndrome are described as having exceptionally friendly personalities, extremely sensitive and empathic, and therefore are also called “love children.” Williams syndrome is a genetic disorder caused by the deletion of one of the two copies of about 26 genes found on chromosome 7 in humans [1].
People take you for granted – they abuse your generosity and niceness. You feel guilty about telling people that they hurt/ wronged you, and as such, you keep it bottled inside. Bottled feelings can build up to the detrimental of your health.
Niceness has been referred to as our 'most fundamental social dysfunction' (Summers, 2005) and in nursing, niceness can be (and often is) toxic and disabling.
Sometimes, too nice really is a red flag. Someone who seems too nice could actually be love bombing you, an early warning sign of abuse, for instance. "Although on the surface, you may feel someone is too nice, it's actually your intuition trying to give you a subtle warning that something is off," Nikhade says.
It might sound cheesy, but it's true. Research has repeatedly shown that kindness has the power to benefit both the giver and the receiver – not only can it boost our mood and self-esteem, but it also helps to foster a sense of community and can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Key points. People who are nice and agreeable are generally well-liked and valued in their communities. Being highly agreeable is sometimes linked to lower life satisfaction, new research suggests. Excessive niceness may render people vulnerable to exploitation, in which case others may lose respect for them.
People who are always nice tend to hold in negative emotions, often resulting in depression, anxiety, and addiction. Those who are always nice may periodically act out or even collapse from exhaustion.
Often, being too nice in a relationship is a sign of a deeper insecurity. It may stem from our attachment style or from experiences we had in childhood. Being too accommodating in a relationship may also be a sign of low self esteem or codependency in relationships.
fastidious. finicky. genteel. goody-goody. goody-two-shoes.
You will develop unrealistic expectations of others.
According to the Power of Positivity, when you are being too nice to others, you develop unrealistic expectations for them to do the same. When they do not meet these expectations, you may become angry and resentful.
"It's nothing", "no problem", "no worries", "don't mention it", "not at all" or "sure thing": These are all common responses and most people wouldn't think twice if you use one of those.
But one of the biggest red flag personality traits, according to a Harvard Business School study, is the constant need to spread negativity. In other words, they are a pain to be around and their actions can make everyone's workday utterly miserable.
If you are too available for someone, they might not respect you. They might think you have no life, no friends, and nothing else going on in your life. In fact, they will probably figure out that you are putting everything else on hold just to go out with them. That's not something that a lot of people will respect.
In the words of the experts, being overly nice is a defense mechanism to bury, hide, cover-up, dismiss, or filter out other emotions (sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously). Like any habit, it's not something that's easy to break or change and will take time, conscious awareness, and patience.
Because they are not necessarily being nice: they are being unassertive and naive, and people think being nice is exactly that. If you want to be nice yet not being take advantage of, then you need to trust others less, and begin doubting and questioning them.
“Nice” is defined as “pleasing; agreeable; delightful”, while “kind” is defined as “having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence.” This difference seem to explain why we use “nice” but not “kind” to describe things besides people and the way they treat each other.
Controlling. One of the most dangerous traits of a toxic person is controlling behavior. They may try to restrict you from contacting your friends or family, or limit resources like transportation or access to money to restrict your ability to interact with the world around you.
Kindness can become toxic when making others comfortable becomes a priority and boundaries get faded. This mindset results in trying to keep your relationships conflict-free and to achieve that overly-kind people will let their boundaries get stepped over to keep it peaceful.