The gaslighting statement may come as a response to a question you asked. He may scoff at you or imply you've asked an obvious or ridiculous question. In some cases, your boss may directly question your performance ability by comparing you unfairly to co-workers who've held the same position longer than you have.
Gaslighting at work is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser, often in a place of authority, convinces the victim to question their perception of reality. An employee experiencing gaslighting at work may struggle to recognize signs, as gaslighters use sneaky, sometimes charming tactics.
10 Signs & Red Flags You're Being Gaslighted. If you recognize these signs in your relationships, you may be the victim of gaslighting; they include denial, minimization, blame-shifting, isolation, withholding, causing confusion or doubt, criticism, projection, narcissism, and love bombing.
“Gaslighters have two signature moves,” she wrote. “They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.” They spread gossip, they take credit for other people's work, and they undercut others in furtherance of their own position.
In order to control their direct reports and others, a manager who gaslights will get defensive when confronted and try to manipulate you into believing that the issue is your fault. You may, for example, complain of inappropriate behavior or humor in the workplace.
The gaslighter can do this by denying past events, downplaying your emotions, or retelling events so that you take the blame. Examples of gaslighting may include a boss who calls you hypersensitive for reporting a coworker that made inappropriate remarks.
They don't care about your work-life balance.
If your boss is always texting you on your day off or asking you to work overtime, they're displaying a toxic disregard for your existence as a human being. Especially if working during time off isn't a mainstay of your workplace culture.
While it is easy to spot toxic leaders who scream, bully, and abuse publicly, gaslighting behavior is much more covert. Gaslighters know how to fly under the radar. They are adept at undermining an employee's self-esteem, confidence, and sense of reality in subtle, sneaky, and hard-to-prove ways.
When you confront gaslighters about their behavior, they often change the subject or counter-attack by telling you that it's all your fault or you are the one with the problem.
Taking detailed notes of what your boss says and does will help you to have evidence if your boss denies his or her actions. Documenting everything not only serves as your reference but also acts as a safeguard against signs of manipulation behavior that might be directed at you.
Gaslighters have fragile egos and low self-esteem, so use your own inner strength to keep the balance of power in your favor.
Gaslighting can be part of a narcissistic personality, but it is not a core trait of narcissistic personality disorder. A narcissist may be self-promoting and feel superior to others; a gaslighter aims to make another person question their own self-value.
It could be divided into four different types: outright lying, manipulation of reality, scapegoating and coercion.
Shifting blame is a common gaslighting tactic. Accusing the victim of being the gaslighter causes confusion, makes them question the situation, and draws attention away from the true gaslighter's harmful behavior, Sarkis says.
Those experiencing gaslighting may often feel confused about their version of reality, experience anxiety, or be unable to trust themselves. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that undermines an individual's perception of reality, causing them to doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.