The final stage, post-friendship, occurs after a friendship has been terminated.
The five stages of grief is a framework that includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. After losing a best friend, you may experience some or all of these feelings.
The most common reason isn't tension; it's just that friendships fizzle out, both experts say. Friends move, get a new job, start a family and may just gradually stop talking to each other. One study found we lose about half our friends every seven years, Franco says.
Sometimes friends simply drift apart; their life circumstances may change suddenly, as in the case of marriage, a new job, moving city or becoming a parent. It's natural when friendships are altered by such life events. However, sometimes you drift apart simply because you're growing in different ways.
Friendships change over time. As people and their circumstances change, small disagreements and misunderstandings arise. Ultimately, friends who considered themselves close come to the realization that their paths have diverged. And the friendship could end with a bang or a whimper.
Maintaining a lifelong friendship isn't easy. In fact, a 2009 Dutch study found that a large majority of friendships only last about seven years. Like any relationship, friendships take work if you want them to last.
Recent research actually tells us that the average female friendship lasts 16 years, which is 6 years longer than the average romantic relationship. Once we turn 55, our friendships on average last 23 years!
This popular study says it all: If a friendship lasts longer than seven years, psychologists say it will last a lifetime.
Turns out, of the 76 percent of respondents who said they'd struck up a relationship with their best friend, 29 percent resulted in marriage. Sadly, only 51 percent got their best friend back if the relationship went sour.
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
Ghosting, when someone cuts communication suddenly and without explanation, can be a deeply painful, even heartbreaking, experience. Naturally, an abrupt ending to all communication can be all the more upsetting when it's done by a friend.
While a friend might use relaxed language, share a few jokes, or otherwise interact in a light-hearted manner, a person that doesn't consider you their friend may sound more official or formal, giving clipped responses when you meet up with them in person or otherwise engage them in conversation.
“In fact, mental health experts recommend forgiving those who have hurt you to improve your mental health and well-being.” Remember that when healing a friendship, you also need to heal yourself.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.
Tell them politely that you're sorry, but you don't want to be best friends. It is up to you whether you want to tell them the reason why - you could outright say that you find them annoying, or just that you don't think you're compatible.
Assure them that they aren't a bad person and that they have a lot going for them. Emphasize that you're busy and putting energy into other things right now. You can say something like "I've been spending so much time on my writing that I've been bad at texting back." Don't apologize too much if it feels insincere.
If your friend doesn't like you, they probably aren't making much of an effort to stay in touch. This means not just talking, but emails, texting, or any other form of communication. If you and your friend aren't talking very much, it is hard to say that you are still really friends.
The average lifespan of a friendship? 10 years. Here's why. This is the psychology of why friendships (and marriages) fail.
Signs a Friendship Has Crossed the Line
Instead, a person chooses to put their friendship first and prioritize their own needs, rather than their partner's. For example, if someone would rather disclose personal and important information with their “friend,” then the friendship has crossed the line.