It's a form of controlling others by deceitfully pressuring them to feel or act in a way that doesn't align with their values and emotions. "If you have voiced a concern but still feel frustrated, anxious, and pacified, you [may] have been emotionally manipulated," says Porche.
You feel fear, obligation and guilt
Manipulative behavior involves three factors, according to Stines: fear, obligation and guilt. “When you are being manipulated by someone you are being psychologically coerced into doing something you probably don't really want to do,” she says.
To disarm a manipulator, postpone your answer to give yourself time to ponder, question their intent, look disinterested by not reacting, establish boundaries and say no firmly, maintain your self-respect by not apologizing when they blame you for their problems, and apply fogging to acknowledge any mistakes and end ...
The manipulator may experience physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual distress due to a guilty conscience and shame. The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed.
Chronic manipulation is often used as a survival mechanism to cope with a challenging or competitive environment, especially when one lacks relative power and control. Pathological manipulation may also be the result of family, social, societal, or professional conditioning.
Manipulative behavior occurs when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can damage a person's psychological well-being.
They unload their responsibilities onto others or dismiss their responsibilities. They do not clearly communicate their requests, needs, feelings or opinions. They often respond vaguely. They change their opinions, behaviours, or feelings depending on the person or situation.
If someone is manipulating you, be assertive and set personal boundaries, so you know what you will tolerate. If you need to confront manipulators, identify the negative behaviors that you've observed, and be specific about how their actions harm the team.
Often, manipulative people don't realize their own actions. But they will notice friends going distant and relationships being put at risk. So if you're here, you're probably experiencing something along those lines and are asking yourself the grand question: Am I a manipulative person?
The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
The questions are aimed at controlling your behavior — Manipulators may use questions to control your behavior, such as “Why can't you just do what I say?” They seem to have an agenda or ulterior motive: Manipulators often ask questions with the intention of achieving a specific goal or outcome.
Fragile self-esteem is one of the biggest manipulators' weaknesses. Most of the behavior of manipulators stems from their low self-esteem and they try to make up for it through their dark tactics. Generally, a manipulator is self-conscious about his abilities as an individual and has deep-seated insecurities.
Manipulative people tend to sway personal opinions, always see their side of the situation, and may never let you have your own opinion because they are always pushing theirs. These toxic individuals tend to play the victim, never taking responsibility for their actions or any actions for that matter.
People who have a submissive or dependent personality. The more emotionally dependent a person is, the more vulnerable they are to being exploited and manipulated.
ENFJs take the crown for the most manipulative personality type. ENFJs have high emotional intelligence and strong intuition. These combined make them very good at reading people and understanding their needs. This is one of ENFJs greatest strengths.