Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
The short answer is a simple “no.” It is actually highly unlikely that your narcissistic partner is even capable of real love, let alone feels it towards you past the beginning of your relationship.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
The key to getting a narcissist to chase you is to show them what they're missing out on. You need to remind them of how valuable you were in their life. Narcissists will only treat you with kindness and respect when they believe they can lose something valuable to them.
Accept how they feel
Unless, you show you understand them and offer the space to be heard and accepted for how they really feel – the real self. The only way to get close to a narcissist is show that you get them, and understand their pain by acknowledging how they feel, while understanding their vulnerable feelings.
Show them you're a prize.
To keep them hooked, remind the narcissist that you're high value. Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
The way that narcissistic relationships tend to start out is with “love-bombing”, which involves the narcissist throwing affection, attention, and care at you. they might take you for fancy dinners, say “I love you” quite quickly, ask you to move in with them, buy you gifts and flowers, and so on.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Narcissists often identify cooperative partners to create codependent relationships. Then, they prey on your good nature and empathy to keep you hooked on them. This abuse often happens subtly. For example, the narcissist might insist they make enough money and encourage you to quit your job and focus on yourself.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
If there's one thing narcissists hate, it's being told what to do. When you push them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it's like their own personal hell. Figure out a way where you can get the narcissist in your life to be underneath an authority figure to really watch them squirm.
Narcissists are attracted to dynamic and appealing partners, individuals who appear as if they have high self-esteem but who also have a "pocket" or two of low self-esteem.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.
Empaths and highly sensitive people can be more susceptible to the charm of those who have NPD or narcissistic qualities, says Zinn.