The emotionally unavailable man can miss you against what you might think to be the obvious answer. An emotionally unavailable man may miss you when you take a break from the relationship, are away from his immediate reach, or feel detached from you.
To put it briefly, people who are only temporarily emotionally unavailable do come back. Remember that alone time and space can do wonders as they can reflect on their own feelings. Encouraging them to get help can also help them understand themselves and their behavior.
"Another reason someone might attract someone emotionally unavailable is because they have low self-esteem. For whatever reason (body image issues, experience of being bullied, job instability, addiction, or mental health issues), they may not believe they are worthy of love and commitment," she says.
When you ignore a man who's emotionally unavailable, it will start bothering him to such a degree that he'll start feeling depressed and anxious. He will try to figure things out on his own and won't turn to friends or family for advice.
While emotional availability is a key part of healthy relationships, emotional unavailability tends to be characteristic of unhealthy or even toxic relationships or patterns. After all, a critical part of forming and maintaining meaningful relationships is getting vulnerable and taking some risks with our emotions.
#9 He Gets Jealous
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. What is this? Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
An Emotionally unavailable person often has a fear or a blockage to emotional intimacy, leaving the other person feeling like they are grasping for more, left feeling misunderstood, emotionally unsatisfied and confused.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
Emotionally unavailable men are seeking for perfection for one reason only: they're deeply insecure. Since they're insecure and don't want to show any sign of a vulnerable exposure, they will comfort themselves with the thought that 'no one is good enough' and they don't need to open up to anyone.
Give him space to come around. Constantly trying to connect with your partner will only make him push you away even more. It's counterintuitive and isn't on the list of strategies on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man. Instead, give him a long leash and let him run.
Key points. Women who fall for unavailable men usually feel that they are more committed to the relationship than the men are. Women who fall for unavailable men most often have profound insecurities, believing if the man eventually commits, they will finally be "worthy."
Friendship.
Even close friendship can be difficult because, at a certain level, friendship requires vulnerability. Emotionally unavailable people find banter, or their shared history with someone, easier to cope with so they'll often keep a friendship at a slight distance.
One of the clear signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is when he begins to invite you to various events. You will meet his friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and the likes at these events. He will introduce you to them because you're not an ordinary person in his life.
The main trait that both emotionally unavailable men and women share is their fear of being controlled, especially in a relationship. For men in particular, a consuming fear is “losing” themselves in a relationship.
For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
Emotional unavailability can be permanent or temporary in nature and can be difficult to resolve depending on the underlying cause. It often requires outside help or support, such as therapy, to support a couple in overcoming emotional issues such as this.
Because emotionally unavailable people can be good at hiding their own unavailability, they often reflect your emotions and sentiments back to you. While this can sound manipulative or disingenuous, it is often used as a sort of defense mechanism for people who are not comfortable sharing their deep emotions.
Focus on your own feelings
Both Neblett and Gatling agree that if you address someone's emotional unavailability, express how it's affecting you and lead with "I" statements. It's also important to have clear examples of why you think they're emotionally unavailable so that they don't feel ambushed, Neblett emphasizes.