Understanding you is how we show affection, so when you attempt to understand us, we feel loved. If you want your INFJ to feel loved and appreciated, show us that you care by attempting to understand us. Understanding is deeper than knowledge to an INFJ, and we will love you more for trying.
INFJs have a deep desire to be understood, and they generally are self aware. When they ask you if they're making sense, it's because they're aware that their communication style can cause others to misinterpret their words.
INFJs are often misunderstood because their personality makes them seem more intense than the average person. As introverts, they are prone to deep thinking and ongoing internal monologues. As intuitive feelers, they are adept at reading and understanding the emotions of others.
People with an INFJ personality type are dominant in introverted intuition. This means: INFJs tend to be highly focused on their internal insights. Once they have formed an intuition about something, INFJs tend to stick to it very tightly, often to the point of being single-minded in their focus.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
When INFJs are under a lot of stress, they can fall into the grip of their inferior function, Extraverted Sensing, which makes the INFJ unable to think about their normal visionary ideas, be creative, or help others with their characteristic empathy.
Do's: When speaking with an INFJ, focus on your vision or goal for the future. INFJs are big-picture people and they will want to know how your message fits into a larger personal or global plan. Ask for their ideas, their insight into people, or creative solutions and possibilities.
INFJs find it easy to communicate with people of various types and on a variety of topics. However, INFJs can occasionally come across as somewhat reserved in their communication. Yet what they do when they appear reserved is taking time to sort out their feelings and thoughts of other people or current events.
INFJs ranked as having low dominance according to the CPI™ tool. Since the traits linked with low-dominance were being quiet, cautious, or hesitant to take action, this makes sense. INFJs tend to be on the quiet side, and they also tend to be extremely independent.
The INFJ. Upon first meeting, people often find you calm yet focused. There's a warmth and friendliness to your demeanor that helps put people at ease and encourages them to speak freely. Yet you also give people their space and are not prone to long bouts of chit-chat or small-talk.
However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes. They giggle more, trip over things more, and make self-deprecating jokes to try to ease the tension.
When INFJs care about someone they try to shine a light on that person's hidden strengths or even obvious positive qualities. It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique.
They want to hear the secret thoughts you're afraid to utter. How you're really feeling, even though you said you're “doing fine.” INFJs love discussing personal, big-idea topics. They especially love helping other people understand their complicated, messy emotions and grow.
How do I know that an INFJ loves me? They will open up to you about their dreams, hopes and maybe even their fears. They will open up to you period. They will take care of you, ask if you are okay, check up on you, etc.
INFJs have unique needs and expectations when it comes to romantic relationships and you may struggle to find someone who matches you intellectually and emotionally. But don't let that stop you from making the first move!
INFJs feel deeply, and that's likely the understatement of the year — but they often struggle to express those feelings. The introvert's way of interacting with the world is to quietly explore it, and the same goes for our internal world.
INFJs are energized by working creatively towards a future vision or goal. In turn, they are drained by being in noisy, disorganized environments where they face frequent interruptions to their thoughts and musings. It's especially bad if they are in an environment where there is frequent conflict.
A heartbroken INFJ might think they should never have trusted this person in the first place and eat themselves up with guilt. They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term.
Stressed or unhappy INFJs are often tired of trying to make people feel good. They stop caring what people think and about “blending in” socially. In fact, they may feel a sense of relief in laying out criticisms, nitpicking other people's statements, or even starting a debate over the logic of something.