What do you say to someone who is struggling with PTSD?
Someone living with PTSD may experience triggers of past trauma even if there's nothing external that overtly warrants a sense of danger. ... 2. Reassure them
“I am not going anywhere.”
“You will get through this.”
“I love you.”
“We're in this together. I'm on your side no matter what.”
When talking to your loved one about PTSD, be clear and to the point. Stay positive, and don't forget to be a good listener. When your loved one speaks, repeat what you understand and ask questions when you need more information. Don't interrupt or argue, but instead voice your feelings clearly.
Focus on non-judgmental, compassionate responses which help reduce shame. You might say “I'm so sorry you had to experience that,” or “you didn't deserve that, and you deserve support now,” or “I want you to know you're not alone,” or “you did what you have to do to survive.”
Triggers can include sights, sounds, smells, or thoughts that remind you of the traumatic event in some way. Some PTSD triggers are obvious, such as seeing a news report of an assault. Others are less clear. For example, if you were attacked on a sunny day, seeing a bright blue sky might make you upset.
Deep breathing can help calm your body's stress response when you encounter a triggering situation. Expressive writing can help you process the feelings, thoughts, emotions, and memories that contribute to PTSD symptoms. Grounding techniques can keep you focused on the present moment instead of on your triggers.
When individuals talk about painful experiences with a safe, supportive, and attuned human; they learn that the trauma can be dealt with and difficult emotions can be tolerated. Memories can be organized in a healthy way rather than developing problematic beliefs and self-blame (e.g., “this is all my fault.”).
DON'T force them to socialize or do things they're not ready for. Forcing our loved ones to do things they are not ready for may often cause more damage, and worse, trigger PTSD symptoms. It's important to continue to include them in activities and allow them to decide what they are up for.
The symptoms of PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving. These problems may affect the way the survivor acts with others. In turn, the way a loved one responds to him or her affects the trauma survivor. A circular pattern can develop that may sometimes harm relationships.
If you love someone with PTSD, you're affected by it as well. “People who are close to someone with PTSD need to take care of themselves as well,” Gallegos Greenwich says. “That often gets forgotten, dismissed, or minimized. You might think, 'My loved one went through that trauma, not me, so why am I feeling this way?
Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.
Trauma can make it extremely difficult to maintain relationships as it forces us to constantly remain in 'fight or flight' mode. Feeling constantly on edge and that you need to be on high alert at all times makes it extremely difficult to trust another person.
Armed with the right information, though, you can have a loving, committed, romantic relationship, even if PTSD is a third party in your partnership. It's still possible to have a rewarding relationship while also finding the personal support you need.
A person with PTSD has four main types of difficulties: Re-living the traumatic event through unwanted and recurring memories, flashbacks or vivid nightmares. There may be intense emotional or physical reactions when reminded of the event including sweating, heart palpitations, anxiety or panic.
PTSD can make somebody hard to be with. Living with someone who is easily startled, has nightmares, and often avoids social situations can take a toll on the most caring family.
