There are many reasons why people hurt themselves this way. They might feel they have no other place to go. Or they feel they will never find someone so right for them again. Perhaps they choose partners who can never love them the same way in return, and yet can't accept that finality.
Sometimes, people are still thinking about their Ex for months, or even years after the relationship ended because of lingering insecurities or comparisons they're making — even subconsciously. This is often true when your Ex has moved on before you have.
Loss comes in many forms, not just death. And every loss comes with a certain level of grief. Letting go of someone you love also isn't just about that person. It also signifies a big change in your life, and maybe even your identity.
You haven't released yourself from the relationship. There may have been some unresolved issue that caused the break-up or you're still grieving the relationship and you may feel that you never really got closure.
Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you.
What does it mean if you can't get your mind off someone?
There's a Deep Bond Between Both of You.
We all have our own unique personality traits, interests, and beliefs. If the answer is “yes,” it means you have a connection with this person. And that connection can be very powerful. You make deep bonds with people who share similar interests and values.
There are significant psychological benefits of letting go. When we let go of painful emotions and focus on the present moment this regulates our feelings more effectively. There is considerable evidence that mindfulness practice improves both mental and physical health.
Someone may have difficulty moving on if a part of them is holding onto hope that they will get back together with their ex. When grieving the loss of a relationship, we often assume that avoiding painful emotions will bring us relief when the opposite is true.
When months, or even years, have passed and the memory of a past romantic rejection still stings, it may be because you believe the breakup revealed something about who you are as a person. “I'm difficult.” “I'm too structured.”
Being in love creates disruptions in your brain chemistry that increase dopamine, the chemical responsible for making you feel euphorically good anytime you're around your ex. Your brain is hard-wired to enjoy the feeling of dopamine, so it releases even more every time you think about your partner.
If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you via an unfriending or straight block, it might mean they miss you.
