The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed. The manipulator may experience quiet but persistent moral crises and ethical conflicts, and may have a difficult time living with themselves.
In some cases, ignoring a manipulator may cause them to lose interest in their target. Since manipulators typically seek control and validation, a lack of response might make them feel insignificant and prompt them to move on to someone more susceptible to their tactics.
Factor analyses of four instruments revealed six types of tactics: charm, silent treatment, coercion, reason, regression, and debasement. Tactics of manipulation showed strong individual difference consistency across contexts.
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
While most people engage in manipulation from time to time, a chronic pattern of manipulation can indicate an underlying mental health concern. Manipulation is particularly common with personality disorder diagnoses such as borderline personality (BPD) and narcissistic personality (NPD).
People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The person doing the manipulating, called the manipulator, seeks to create an imbalance of power. They take advantage of you to get power, control, benefits, and/or privileges.
While anyone can be manipulated, expert manipulators tend to target people with and take advantage of certain personality traits. These traits include: The desire to be liked or to please; these people are more likely to take extraordinary measures to gain favor. Low self-esteem.
When you confront someone who is manipulating you, there is the risk that they will continue to use the same tactics to try to manipulate you further. They may respond to this conversation by acting defensive, trying to guilt you into just letting it go, or blaming you for the problems in your relationship.
Everything has to go their way or you suffer the consequences. The moment you put a stop to people taking advantage of you and disrespecting you is when they define you as difficult, selfish and crazy. Manipulators hate boundaries.
“A manipulative person will generally not respond well to heart-to-heart talks about what you are experiencing; a conversation with a manipulator will often leave you more confused and second-guessing yourself. As such, ghosting a manipulator can be a very smart tactic.”
To keep their victims nearby, then, they'll make apologies left and right without taking any real actions to improve themselves or make amends. These are not real apologies—they are manipulation tactics. Any counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist in the world will attest that an apology without change is manipulation.
ENFJs take the crown for the most manipulative personality type. ENFJs have high emotional intelligence and strong intuition. These combined make them very good at reading people and understanding their needs. This is one of ENFJs greatest strengths.
Motivations of Manipulators
a strong need to attain feelings of power and superiority in relationships with others. a want and need to feel in control. a desire to gain a feeling of power over others in order to raise their perception of self-esteem.
Emotional manipulators will tell you what you want to hear, but their actions are another story. They pledge their support, but, when it comes time to follow through, they act as though your requests are entirely unreasonable.