Narcissists tend to put up a strong fight and view divorce as a competition they must win. This adversarial attitude can result in bullying, exploitative behavior, and a refusal to negotiate rationally.
You can trigger narcissistic rage by putting the narcissist in a position of looking bad. Narcissists do not take criticism well. Gather witnesses who have seen your narcissistic ex behaving badly. This could include family, friends, co-works, teachers.
Divorce can shine a bright light on all a narcissist's worst traits. It exposes their marriage relationship as flawed, and usually involves public criticism, if only in front of a judge or mediator. Finding out you want a divorce can also make a narcissist feel like they have failed, which could cause them to lash out.
Narcissists are misogynists. They hold women in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them (either by debasing them sexually – or by withholding sex from them). They harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act.
The easiest way to make a narcissist panic is to cut off your supply of attention and concern. Narcissists feed off of attention. Any kind. Whether it's good or bad, it doesn't matter to them.
Narcissists are notoriously difficult to divorce. They often use their partner's emotional needs against them, dragging out the process for as long as possible. This is because they are dependent on the “narcissistic supply” to feel good about themselves.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Therefore, a narcissistic spouse will not want to be exposed in front of a judge. When confronted with facts, the person will likely allow their true nature to come out. A judge can see firsthand the combative, abusive, and controlling nature of the narcissistic parent.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
The narcissist views their spouse as an extension of themselves. If the narcissist wants to present themselves to the world in a certain way, they will pick a spouse who can help them with that image. This can be based on looks, wealth, or other qualities the narcissist wants to use to their advantage.
New research examines the link between narcissism and respecting one's partner. Narcissists who inflate their own self-view by enjoying others' failures tend not to give their partners enough respect. Not all narcissistic self-inflation strategies are associated with less respect for a partner.
Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner. Jealousy.
What is the average length of marriage to a narcissist?
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
They WILL move on quickly because narcissists tend to view other people (including their partners) as conveniences — and once you are no longer useful, they will move on.
But what many people don't realize is that these relationships are also some of the most likely to end in divorce. In fact, research has shown that nearly 60% of all marriages to narcissists – male or female – end in divorce. So, what's the reason for this high rate of divorce involving this one personality type?