The longer you hold a squirmy, unhappy cat, the more she'll hate being held the next time. If your cat hates being picked up and held, slow down and just focus on being able to put one hand on her side and then releasing. Work up to placing a hand on each side and then letting go.
Being picked up and held can make some cats nervous, as they are being restrained in your arms. This limits their options for escape if anything were to startle them. Cats are independent creatures, and although they often like to be up high, they like to choose their own perch and not be restrained whilst doing so.
Picking up a cat when she's frightened — no matter how much you want to console her — is not recommended because she's likely to lash out at you.
Never pick up a cat by the scruff of the neck or by the front legs. Picking up a cat the wrong way can cause the animal discomfort or even injury.
Respect Your Cat's Space
Although it might make you feel better, resist the urge to pick up or cuddle a frightened cat.
The longer you hold a squirmy, unhappy cat, the more she'll hate being held the next time. If your cat hates being picked up and held, slow down and just focus on being able to put one hand on her side and then releasing. Work up to placing a hand on each side and then letting go.
According to the ASPCA, both the front and back legs should be supported. Never pick your cat up by the head or front legs only. “To pick up your cat, place one hand behind the front legs and another under the hindquarters. Lift gently.”
Practice holding your cat. The trick is to hold her loosely enough that she doesn't feel restrained, but firmly enough so that she doesn't feel unstable. Some cats are most comfortable being held over your shoulder. Others prefer for you to hold them with one hand on their back, and the other holding their hind legs.
When you pick your cat up for a hug, pay close attention to what they do with their head. If they actively turn their head away from you and avoid eye contact then this is a sign that they feel uncomfortable and would prefer for you to put them back down.
Your cat loves you, he just might not be comfortable with regular petting or being held. Don't worry though, there are things you can do to entice your kitty to want more love, he just needs to get to know you better. The way to do this is do what he wants, not what you want.
Depending on their upbringing, it may take days, weeks, or months for a newly-befriended cat to trust you. Bonding with cats can occur naturally through feeding and daily interactions, but some cats need a little extra attention and time to feel safe. And keep an open mind about how cats might show trust.
Signs of Emotional Trauma in Cats and Dogs
Trauma can also manifest as “shaking, hiding, urination and/or defecation when the trigger attempts to interact, howling, pacing, excessive vocalization, and panting,” says Pia Silvani, director of behavioral rehabilitation at the ASPCA's Behavioral Rehabilitation Center.
Following the initial introduction, it can take a very long time for a relationship to grow. It takes most cats eight to 12 months to develop a friendship with a new cat. Although some cats certainly become close friends, others never do.
Some cats do not like being picked up and will not allow it ever. It may be that they had a bad experience early in their lives (someone picked them up and did not support them or did something bad to them), or it may be that they are just uncomfortable not having solid ground under their paws.
Unfamiliar Objects, Fruit or People
But it is a good example of cats being afraid of unfamiliar things (people, objects, fruits, etc.). Cats like to feel safe and secure in their home — if something new enters their space, that's probably going to cause some stress.
When frightened, some cats may hide, try to appear smaller, pull their ears back and be immobile. Other cats may show signs of agitation or aggression, such as dilated pupils, arched back, pilo-erection (hair standing on end), and hissing.
Over handling of cats
Cats can enjoy being stroked, but every cat is different. Some like being stroked a lot. For others it will be strictly on their terms only! Being stroked or picked up when it's not wanted or enjoyed is stressful for them.
“The most common reason a cat bites you is that they aren't enjoying the current interaction. Biting is their way to say 'back off' when they feel threatened [or annoyed],” says Rachel Barrack, DVM, a veterinarian at Animal Acupuncture in New York City. “Cats also may bite when playing, as they are natural predators.”