Talking about the trauma can be important Don't insist on talking if the person doesn't want to. They may need time to be alone with their thoughts. Tell them you are there to listen whenever they feel ready. Reassure them you care and want to understand as much as possible about what happened to them.
Focus on non-judgmental, compassionate responses which help reduce shame. You might say “I'm so sorry you had to experience that,” or “you didn't deserve that, and you deserve support now,” or “I want you to know you're not alone,” or “you did what you have to do to survive.”
Trauma dumping refers to sharing a traumatic story without thinking about how it will affect the listener, or oversharing in an inappropriate context.
Help remind them of their surroundings (for example, ask them to look around the room and describe out loud what they see). Encourage them to take deep, slow breaths (hyperventilating will increase feelings of panic). Avoid sudden movements or anything that might startle them. Ask before you touch them.
"I'm so sorry."
It's absolutely fine to keep things this simple—and this familiar can be helpful. Saying you're sorry "validates what they're experiencing," Doka says, without sugarcoating the situation. Plus, it doesn't ask something of the other person, like "Let me know if I can do anything" does.
Right after a trauma, almost every survivor will find it hard to stop thinking about what happened. Stress reactions—such as fear, anxiety, jumpiness, upsetting memories, and efforts to avoid reminders—will gradually decrease over time for most people.
If you live with complex trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), trauma dumping or oversharing could be a natural trauma response and coping mechanism.
The freeze, flop, friend, fight or flight reactions are immediate, automatic and instinctive responses to fear. Understanding them a little might help you make sense of your experiences and feelings.
fear, anxiety and panic. shock – difficulty believing in what has happened, feeling detached and confused. feeling numb and detached. not wanting to connect with others or becoming withdrawn from those around you.
But, when we talk about apologizing, we wrap all of these complex concepts up into a single practice. It's a common trauma-state response to want to avoid conflict.
Can you be traumatized by yelling? Yes, over time, verbal abuse can be traumatizing for children and adults alike. To protect yourself from the psychological harm of being yelled at, talk with a trusted healthcare provider, social worker, or teacher about how to address the situation.
Ask what will make him or her most comfortable and respect his or her needs. Be tolerant if the person repeats his or her stories and experiences, and avoid interrupting the person. In a crisis, remain calm, be supportive and remember that the effects of PTSD are normal reactions to an abnormal situation.
If you're the one getting dumped on, Becker suggests validating the person's feelings and showing empathy, but telling them you do not feel comfortable being in the conversation. “[Then offer] to help them secure the more helpful person or professional to talk to about this,” she says.
Living in the chaos of PTSD symptoms and post-trauma haze can make you very self-centered.
When individuals talk about painful experiences with a safe, supportive, and attuned human; they learn that the trauma can be dealt with and difficult emotions can be tolerated. Memories can be organized in a healthy way rather than developing problematic beliefs and self-blame (e.g., “this is all my fault.”).
Smiling when discussing trauma is a way to minimize the traumatic experience. It communicates the notion that what happened “wasn't so bad.” This is a common strategy that trauma survivors use in an attempt to maintain a connection to caretakers who were their perpetrators.