Politely let them know your available time, house rules, and if your household is free of things such as certain foods, allergens, or other products. It may seem like you're being flexible or unwelcoming, but savvy guests will be happy to know what to expect before they arrive.
Your home is your sanctuary, and you're under no obligation to let anyone stay there. Of course, letting people know that without offending them can be a bit tricky. Fortunately, however, there are some perfectly nice ways to discourage uninvited houseguests.
Although three days and two nights is the ideal visit, Hokemeyer admits that when guests are coming from a great distance, the stay may have to be extended. When the visit is longer, more care has to be taken to reduce stress. Having enough space for guests is an important consideration.
In Summary, 5 Steps to Set Healthy Boundaries
Openly communicate your boundaries to people in your life. Remind people if needed (but always stick to your boundaries) Don't be afraid to say “no” to things that don't serve you. Take time for yourself.
Lonely Planet co-founder Tony Wheeler was one of the first to offer a rule for house guests: “The oldest line is still the best – guests and fish begin to smell after three days. Or, like fish, guests should go off after three days.” There you have it – Rule #1: Three days max, even for family.
I found that the most polite way to tell someone to please leave was not to half-jokingly say, “Alright, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!” Instead, I would wait for a pause in conversation and then say something like, “It's been so great catching up!” This little hint was normally enough for my guest ...
Try to Talk it Out
Ask the guest to leave. Pick a date that gives them time to pack and find a new place to stay. If the guest doesn't want to leave, think about offering some money to help out if you have it. This seems like it doesn't make sense, but if you have to go to court to try to evict them it could cost more.
Things you should offer to do: Help prep or cook meals; set the table and do the dishes; offer to drive; occupy the kids while their parents take a well-deserved nap; fix a little something around the house if you have the skills; or take the dog for a walk.
If you don't, make sure to offer a good variety of dietary options. Ironically, a few of the least favorite host behaviors had to do with host anxiety: apologizing too much, trying to clean while everyone's still there, or being annoyingly accommodating (hosts should be attuned and attentive, but not overbearing).
But one of the ways to tell someone they can't stay is, to be honest and direct about the limited space. “The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Explain that you need more space to accommodate them and that it is not a personal issue.
Intermede Investment Partners employ a "5-10-15" rule when investing. "Five refers to a minimum 5% a year revenue growth, on average, annually. 10% is the annual EPS growth that we're looking for. And 15% is the ROE minimum threshold," explains Intermede CEO Barry Dargan.
The idea behind the 10:5 rule is that anytime you find yourself within 10 feet (3 meters) of someone, you should smile and make eye contact. When you are within 5 feet (1.5 meters) of someone, you should greet them with a friendly hello or other greeting.
The 10 and 5 rule is a simple guideline that is widely used in the hospitality industry. The rule dictates that when a staff member is 10 feet from a guest, the staff smiles and makes direct eye contact, and when they are within five feet, the staff verbally greets the guest.
Now that we have a better understanding of what healthy boundaries look like, let's talk about unhealthy boundaries. Unhealthy boundaries involve a disregard for your own and others' values, wants, needs, and limits.
They have been conditioned to believe that they are entitled to everything they want, and when someone sets boundaries, it's like a slap in the face. They feel like their power is being taken away, and this makes them angry. However, it's important to remember that setting boundaries is crucial for our well-being.
Conflict avoidance and people pleasing are common in codependent relationships. Among others, these behaviors may signal difficulty in establishing and respecting boundaries. Feeling resentment for the things you do for the other person, even if you've volunteered, is also a sign of codependency.