In his book he examines five key styles: polite, playful, sincere, and traditional. Take the quiz here to see which one you are. There is no right or wrong way to flirt, but according to author Jeffrey Hall there are five different styles.
Women take a passive role, receiving attentions warmly but without taking on any risk of rejection or making a bad impression. Their flirting is limited to indulgences like prolonged eye-contact, and "other nonverbal behaviours" (think twirling your hair and pretending to laugh).
Some flirting signals are obvious, like touching, and other flirting signs, like eye contact or compliments, are more subtle. Actions that you think might just be friendly gestures can actually indicate romantic interest.
Clues to spot flirting are body language, such as smiling, leaning forward, and touching, and verbal cues such as compliments or references to being available. You can also ask yourself if the person's behavior is consistent over time and whether they act differently with you than they do with others.
If you pay attention, you'll pick up on the types of touches that drive him crazy. A teasing touch doesn't have to be in an expected place. Try lightly touching your partner on the neck, cheek, forearm, bicep, shoulders and lower back for a touch that he won't be expecting.
If he compliments your eyes, the color of your hair, your laugh, or an admirable aspect of your personality, then he's definitely flirting with you. He may even tease you a bit while flirting with you, like if he says something like, "That's the brightest sweater I have ever seen," but he's still flirting with you.
During the flirting stage, a guy who likes you will attempt to show you his best sides. He'll talk about his new apartment, his band, his promotion, or his talents. Some men may even shower you with expensive gifts, invite you to watch them play a sport, or make an extra effort to improve their physical appearance.
Men who are attracted to you might even engage in more touch. If a man actively tries to touch you during your interaction, it may mean he wants to get closer to you or close the distance between you two.
"I love you a lot." "You are so smart." "Rip my clothes off." Although I'm fairly certain that most men I know would enjoy hearing any of these three four-word sentences from a spouse, there is another sentiment that trumps all of these: "You make me happy."
Innocent flirting is a lighthearted and playful form of social interaction that involves casual, friendly banter, compliments, and teasing without any serious intent or expectation to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship.
Touching becomes flirting when it's done in a playful or affectionate manner. This could include a light touch on the arm during a joke, a playful nudge during a game, or a gentle touch on the hand while sharing a moment. The key here is that the touch is not aggressive or intrusive, but gentle and affectionate.
Intelligent flirting isn't about being someone you aren't, it is about understanding your strengths and accentuating them. Express the best of whom you are. Remember to be yourself. Communicate effectively and clearly.
