What Causes Emotional Unavailability? While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.
You withhold personal feelings and thoughts
If you've found yourself unable or unwilling to share your feelings, you're likely emotionally unavailable. Walfish says this includes things like life goals, life regrets, wishes, hopes, and longings.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
In other words, an emotionally unavailable person may not be able to relate to you, put themselves in your shoes, or consider your feelings when making a decision. This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs.
Emotionally unavailable people also tend to despise compromise. According to them, all their personal relationships should revolve around them and cater to their individual needs. This often leads them to be controlling in relationships so that things either go their way or no way at all.
For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
One of the most common signs that someone is emotionally unavailable is that they don't reveal or show their actual feelings around you. And while you may encourage them to open up and be able to express their emotions, they never let their guard down around you to say what's really on their mind.
One of the clear signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is when he begins to invite you to various events. You will meet his friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and the likes at these events. He will introduce you to them because you're not an ordinary person in his life.
Emotional Unavailable People are Not Always Toxic. An emotionally unavailable is someone who finds it difficult to share feelings and to get genuinely close to another. It doesn't mean they don't have feelings — they do — but they can't access or express them, often both.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
If you need a lot of quality time, affection, and reassurance, an emotionally unavailable partner is not the right fit for you. If you find yourself constantly pursuing your partner for more intimacy and closeness, take a moment to really consider if you can do this for the rest of your life.
[ ap-uh-thet-ik ] show ipa. See synonyms for apathetic on Thesaurus.com. adjective. having or showing little or no emotion: apathetic behavior.
Cancer. It's probably no surprise that the most emotional zodiac sign is also the most vulnerable. "Ruled by the mysterious and changeable Moon, Cancers have a hard time keeping their anxieties and insecurities under control, and are very easily hurt by people," explains Clare.
People often wonder, “can an emotionally unavailable man or woman change or even fall in love?” The answer is a resounding yes. Everybody needs love and affection. While it may still be a little hazy to answer do emotionally unavailable dumpers come back, there's no reason why love should be out of the equation.
Of course, an emotionally unavailable person can change, but like any personal overhaul, they have to want to do it themselves. “The trick is for you not to try and change them. If they feel that they want to be more involved in your feelings, then they will,” Masini says.