Your sibling may constantly demand your attention and admiration and react with outrage if you do not respond as they desire, instilling a deep belief that you are responsible for their emotional well-being. In some cases, the narcissist may even use physical or sexual violence against you.
In the dysfunctional narcissistic family system, the golden child is the most likely to develop a narcissistic personality. Sibling abuse by a favored narcissistic brother usually follows a predictable pattern of behavior. There are strategies that can help protect you from a narcissistic brother's abuse.
Narcissists don't react well to being ignored and often try to punish the person ignoring them. Ignoring a narcissist may result in them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing and begging for forgiveness or smearing you to others.
Monopolizing conversations; demanding constant attention. Disrespecting boundaries; feeling entitled that they needn't comply with others' wishes. Betraying confidence. Launching “campaigns” against others: making themselves look perfect and their sibling look like the “crazy” one.
“It is important to try to speak to the person, establish boundaries, and create a relationship that does not negatively impact your life,” she explains. But if keeping in touch with a relative with NPD is too painful or detrimental, severing ties may be the best solution for your mental health.
Toxic siblings will often take advantage of you. They might exploit you emotionally. For example, they could manipulate you into serving their own psychological needs. They could be counting on your assistance with whatever and whatever. In that way, they are disrespecting your time or other obligations.
There are five common themes often seen in narcissistic families: the neutral sibling, the needy sibling, flying monkeys, the withdrawn sibling, and pseudomutuality.
Scapegoated children who become narcissistic have typically been trained to submit to the dominance of a more overtly narcissistic parent (and perhaps sibling) and as a result learn to cloak their rage, superiority, and desire for control into passive aggression.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
Narcissists value fame, beauty, and success more than relationships. Sure, they date and have friends and often these relationships start out exciting — but fizzle quickly. “People who are narcissistic should have a trail of bad relationships behind them,” Campbell said.
Specifically, female narcissists are less entitled, impulsive, aggressive, and more empathetic than males diagnosed with NPD. Female narcissists also may display certain distinct traits such as a preoccupation with their appearance or being more prone to envy and jealousy than males.
Examples of a gaslighting family member include: Statements like, “I never said that”, used to destabilize you and question previous events. They use your personal weaknesses to prey on you, and lead you to believe that others see you in a negative light by saying things like, “everyone thinks you're…”.
Until your sister acknowledges the harm she's caused and the lack of emotional awareness she's mixing into your relationship, taking some space is absolutely fine. Cutting off a family member with these toxic traits is justified, but you might consider leaving the door open to reconciliation later on down the road.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Narcissists don't treat their families with kindness & respect. From the Narcissist's point of view, you are lowly compared to them. Therefore, expect rude, combative, and blaming behavior. Their ego is most threatened by those closest to them because you all know their secrets.