If someone treats you poorly and you just let it go, you've taught them that it's okay to treat you this way. But make no mistake: it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to tell someone they hurt you.
Avoid blaming the person for how you feel. Instead, express what you're feeling by using “I” instead of "you." Explain the issue in an objective way. This will be less likely to put the person on the defensive. For example, you might say, “I felt hurt that I didn't get a call to tell me you couldn't make it yesterday.”
Ignore him back. The best way to learn how to make a guy feel guilty for hurting you and ignoring you is to just ignore him and get on with things. It's hard and it'll take a lot of your strength but it's easier than wrapping yourself in knots trying to figure things out. You deserve so much better anyway.
If your guy does something that hurts you, tell him. Little confrontations along the way make for a much healthier relationship based on good communication. We all hurt each other, but we must learn to express our emotions before we get hit the boiling point.
What must be done before confronting a person who verbally hurt you?
Expert-Verified Answer
Be prepared: Write out what you want to say before you sit down with the person, so that you won't get taken off track, do it. Don't blame, just state your feelings. Use “I feel …” statements, not “you did …” statements. Pick one or two most important issues for first conversation.
Words are powerful weapons and can do a lot of damage. “ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
Sometimes, releasing your anger is as simple as talking to the person who hurt you, and it can make a world of difference. It might help to express your feelings clearly to them. It's also possible that there was a misunderstanding, and the other person might not even be aware of it.
Try to have compassion for them, which will make you feel better. If applicable, take responsibility for your own part in the matter (but don't blame yourself unfairly). You can have compassion and forgiveness for others while still seeing their actions as unskillful, harmful, unfair, or immoral.
If you find yourself being mistreated, try being assertive with your words or actions to let the person know that it's not okay. You don't have to be rude or aggressive, but you can get your point across so they know their behavior is unacceptable.
It could go like this: "You've been a great friend to me for many months, and I treasure our relationship. There's something I want to talk to you about so I can better understand something that I might be creating a story around." State your issues in an "I felt hurt when you _______."
