People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves.
However, many partners of individuals with spouses with BPD find it difficult–sometimes too stressful–to cope with the disease and the ways that it manifests in their loved one. In many of these cases, some couples choose not to stay together. The reasons for splitting up can vary.
A number of environmental factors seem to be common and widespread among people with BPD. These include: being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.
Across the 20 years of the study, the rates of social isolation in the borderline participants ranged from 22 percent to 32 percent, with 26 percent remaining isolated at the end of the study period.
If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
Codependency in a relationship usually occurs when one of the partners has a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). If your partner has either one of these personality disorders, you might find yourself stuck in a toxic codependent relationship.
Sometimes people with BPD return after no contact, but it's important to remember that this doesn't mean the relationship will automatically work out. The best way to rebuild a relationship with your BPD ex is by starting fresh and focusing on your own needs.
Along with high emotions - the borderline partner's fear of abandonment may be triggered and they may try harder to hold onto the relationship - or possibly they won't be able to cope and will seek retribution.
What might trigger a splitting episode? A split is typically triggered by an event that causes a person with BPD to take extreme emotional viewpoints. These events may be relatively ordinary, such as having to travel on a business trip or getting in an argument with someone.
Signs and symptoms
Some signs that a person is splitting include: idealizing someone one moment, then later calling them abusive or toxic. not seeing nuance in the relationships or actions of others. cutting people out of their life, then expressing feelings of abandonment.
With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
When people with this disorder feel that they are about to be abandoned, they typically become fearful and angry. For example, they may become panicky or furious when someone important to them is a few minutes late or cancels an engagement.
They can even become obsessive. These emotional switchbacks can be difficult to handle. Sometimes they can lead to uncomfortable public scenes. The impulsive behavior of a person with BPD may put that person or their partner at risk, too.
The Science of Falling in Love
Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.
They are often criticized, marginalized and stigmatized, but the truth is that they deserve love and understanding like anyone else. BPD, or borderline personality disorder, is a psychological diagnosis that indicates a person has difficulty regulating their emotions.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
It can be challenging to make and keep friends if you live with any mental illness. If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), your unpredictable behaviors, tumultuous emotions, and fear of abandonment can drive others away.
The Drama Triangle is commonly exhibited by sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD is typically characterized by the intense emotional turmoil experienced by the individual and those around them.