Instilling Self-Doubt and Gaslighting They can create self-doubt by playing on your insecurities and weak points. Or, they can simply gaslight you by invalidating your feelings, memories, or experiences, and fundamentally making you doubt reality.
Narcissists belittle others because they have their own insecurities, fears and flaws, and are afraid of having them exposed to others. In making hurtful comments to others, they reinforce their own feelings of importance and hide the low self-esteem and self-worth that may be lurking within.
They have contempt for responsibility, which they avoid and deflect onto others. They have contempt for trust, which they betray and violate. They have contempt for love, which they do not feel but use as a weapon against others who do. They have contempt for authenticity, which threatens their false facade.
Devaluation Stage
The narcissist will start dropping subtle hints that you've done something wrong, that you've forgotten something important, or that you've hurt their feelings. You'll start to feel insecure. Some indicators include: Passive-aggressiveness.
A narcissistic person might use this strategy to get your attention. They might say, “give me a call, I have to tell you something,” or “I heard a juicy rumor about you”. Naturally, you will want to know and feel tempted to take the bait.
Breadcrumbing is when a person gives someone just enough attention to "string them along." The purpose of breadcrumbing for a narcissist is to give them an ego boost. Responding to breadcrumbing signals that one is available for "narcissistic supply."
Daramus lists some reasons why a person with narcissistic tendencies might discard you: You were too difficult for them to control. You were easily manipulated by them, causing them to look down upon you. You no longer fuel their ego, so they've moved on to someone else who can supply what they need.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
To the narcissist, their gaslighting has worked and they can keep the upper hand. If you know the narcissist has insulted you, it is best to ignore them most times because they aren't open to discussions on how you feel or what they could do differently.
Manipulative narcissists can turn people against you by bringing one or more additional people into an argument, spat, or disagreement that was originally just between you and the narcissist.
It is through fantasy that the narcissist seeks to redeem his pride and dignity and to re-establish his damaged sense of uniqueness and grandiosity. Paradoxically, the narcissist does not mind being humiliated if this were to make him more unique or to draw more attention to his person.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
The reason youve found yourself the target of narcissistic hatred is that they view love as a weakness and consequently, it repulses them. But, at the same time, it allows them to extract copious amounts of narcissistic supply. This is why they seem to hate you but wont let you go easily.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
When it comes to housework, narcissism can manifest in numerous ways. Some narcissists will avoid housework like the plague because it's “below” them. Others will do plenty of housework just to make you feel continuously indebted to them.