Unfortunately, it is something children today experience too. If your children are not touched, they can get into a deficit state that can lead to negative mental health as well as show up as psychosomatic symptoms. These symptoms could include a headache, abdominal pain, anxiety, and sadness, to name a few.
Hugs Help Kids Grow
Physical contact is also essential to a child's physical growth. Physicians have found that when children are deprived of physical contact, their bodies stop growing despite normal intake of nutrients. This condition is called failure-to-thrive.
On the other hand, children who do not have affectionate parents tend to have lower self esteem and to feel more alienated, hostile, aggressive, and anti-social. There have been a number of recent studies that highlight the relationship between parental affection and children's happiness and success.
When you don't get enough physical touch, you can become stressed, anxious, or depressed. As a response to stress, your body makes a hormone called cortisol. This can cause your heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and breathing rate to go up, with bad effects for your immune and digestive systems.
Not only are hugs good for children's brain development and physical growth, but they also support emotional development. Nothing soothes the cries of a child with a skinned knee more quickly than a warm hug from an adult who loves them. In addition, hugs are the most effective way to end a temper tantrum.
Family and RelationshipsThe Importance of Hugging Your Child Every Day. Author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.
Research shows that getting hugged by others, but also hugging yourself, may reduce stress hormones. Longer hugs are perceived as more pleasant than shorter hugs. Older people who at least occasionally get hugs tend to feel better about their health.
Specifically, compared to people with less skin hunger, people who feel more affection-deprived: are less happy; more lonely; more likely to experience depression and stress; and, in general, in worse health. They have less social support and lower relationship satisfaction.
Are you getting enough hugs? Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist, is famous for saying “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
Touch starvation occurs when you go without skin-to-skin contact for long periods. Over time, it can impact your mental health and well-being. Being touch starved — aka touch deprived or skin hungry — can happen when you have had little to no touch from other living things. As humans, we're wired to crave touch.
How do I know if I was emotionally neglected as a child? There are several signs such as feelings of detachment, lack of peer group, dissociative inclinations, and difficulty in being emotionally present.
Lack of trust
With an emotionally unreliable mother or one who is combative or hypercritical, the daughter learns that relationships are unstable and dangerous, and that trust is ephemeral and can't be relied on. Unloved daughters have trouble trusting in all relationships but especially friendship.
Shying away from hugs and kisses might just mean that your kid is sensitive to touch or values extra independence right now (perfectly normal).
“People who have higher levels of social anxiety, in general, may be hesitant to engage in affectionate touches with others, including friends.” And the fear of someone 'reaching out'—literally and figuratively—can make that discomfort even worse, she warns. There's also a cultural component to being hug avoidant.
“When parents do not model stable, healthy, secure, and loving behavior, a child will often grow up feeling chronically destabilized and insecure,” says Manly.
Using weighted blankets can mimic the sensation of receiving a hug, so this may help people feel a sense of peace and calm. Self-massage: People can try practicing self-massage to reduce touch starvation. For example, people can massage their neck to try to stimulate the vagus nerve , which may help reduce stress.
Products like weighted blankets, body pillows, and stuffed animals can give you something to hug even if you're socially isolated. Versions with a little extra weight or heat — like these plush creatures with lavender-scented heating packs inside — mimic the sensations that make a hug so comforting.
Hugs Increase Well-Being
Being hugged uplifts our mood. If you are feeling isolated or are going through a rough time, a hug releases endorphins. Endorphins are the body's natural pain relievers. These neurotransmitters increase our feelings of pleasure.
It is common that when someone is experiencing a disturbance in their emotional and mental health, they may not demonstrate as much affection as they would at other times. Some mental health examples include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or even obsessive compulsive disorder.
Feeling lonely
Since affection is the primary basis on which women bond, not having affection in their relationships makes women feel disconnected and lonely. For a woman, a lonely relationship is one where she feels unseen, unheard, and invalidated.
Hugging increases serotonin, a neurotransmitter known as the "feel good" hormone that is produced and spread by neurons in the brain. Serotonin helps us feel happy, calm, and confident. When serotonin flows freely, we feel good about ourselves — and the opposite is true when this hormone is absent.
Hugs can make you happier
Oxytocin is a chemical in our bodies that scientists sometimes call the “cuddle hormone.” This is because its levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin is associated with happiness and less stress.
When people hug for 20 seconds or more, the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released which creates a stronger bond and connection between the huggers. Oxytocin has been shown to boost the immune system and reduce stress.