2. They focus on solutions. Rather than focus on problems caused by difficult people they focus on actions that will better circumstances. There is no point in rambling and going toe to toe with a difficult person's negativity, instead they find how to deal with whatever complications that should be solved.
Emotionally intelligent people deal with difficult people by establishing boundaries, focusing on solutions, knowing their strengths and weaknesses, terminating negative talk, and staying above difficult situations.
Talking with someone about the situation might help you find the clarity you need. Once you've recognized that you may be dealing with toxic behaviors, consider setting healthy boundaries, identifying ways to lessen your time around them, and working towards healing from any harm their behavior has caused.
Emotionally intelligent people often remain calm in even the most aggravating of situations and, as a result, their relationships are often harmonious.
Some research shows that people who have the ability to be emotionally manipulative, have high levels of emotional intelligence, which can be seen as a positive asset to the workplace. Emotional manipulation is defined as the act of influencing another person's feelings and behaviours for one's own interest.
However, intelligence has drawbacks too. For example, studies have found that higher IQ is associated with more and earlier drug use. Studies have also found that higher IQ is associated with more mental illness, including depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder.
People with toxic traits know they have them
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
“There can be a real grieving process when cutting off a toxic family member,” says MacMillan. “Grief that the relationship is not working, especially if it once did. Recognizing this process takes time and cutting yourself a little slack when it comes to self-judgment is key.”
They show empathy toward others
Emotionally intelligent people can read others too. They observe social and emotional cues and see past simply what is said to what someone might be experiencing underneath. They care about how their actions affect other people, and they're able to make predictions to avoid causing hurt.
They often over-analyze their dates by wondering about the future, the best way to cultivate romance, and being too obsessed with finding the right person. Though it is not a bad thing at all, it makes their journey to find love extremely difficult.
The very intelligent know they're intelligent, so they're prone to setting lofty expectations for themselves that too often they can't meet. Thus, they're frequently disappointed (at times depressed) by their level of accomplishment falling substantially below their ideals.
However, it is how you deal with conflict that can potentially be problematic. Research has uncovered four toxic behaviours that can get in the way of communication and derail collaborative relationships if left unchecked. The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.
If your mind is a high spec processor, you probably learned to do with fewer filters on your sensory data that your average person. You can handle more sense data, so you sense more than average: you're sensitive. You process more, and more quickly, so you're capable of sensing more.
As soon as you notice toxic behaviors, confront the person. Call them out on any lies or inconsistencies. Tell them you don't appreciate how they behave. This shows them that you're paying attention — and you're giving them a chance to explain themselves or apologize.
Toxic people can make you feel consumed by a negative outlook on yourself or isolate you from people who truly are good for you. It's crucial to take the necessary action to get your life back and be treated with the respect you deserve.
On the other hand, some people with toxic traits may behave poorly because of past trauma, a dysfunctional family life, or substance use. A person's inability to process stress and grief can sometimes transform into toxicity towards others.
A toxic person is someone whose causes harm to other people through their behavior consistently, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Common toxic behaviors include emotional manipulation, lying, gaslighting, lack of empathy, and more.
Going scorched earth with statements like “I'm done” or “I want a divorce” — or even “I hate you” — can do considerable damage, even if you don't mean them. Getting angry with each other is normal. But lashing out and saying extreme things in the heat of the moment is just unhealthy, Whetstone said.
The finding of the study showed that introvert, intuition, feeling and judging (INFJ) personality type were more emotionally intelligent than the extrovert, sensing, thinking and perceiving (ESTP) personality type.
INFPs are sensitive and emotionally intelligent, committed to following their core values and motivations in everything they do. This means they're likely to value intra-personal intelligence highly.