The question of when to say “I love you” in a relationship is a contentious one. In the many conversations I've had on the topic, the consensus seems to be that three months in is the sweet spot.
While men tended to consider confessions of love acceptable after about a month or so, women tended to say it was better to wait 2 to 3 months or so. Confessions of love generally inspired feelings of happiness, but men felt more positive about confessions that happened before the relationship became sexual.
According to 2020 OKCupid data on 6,000 people shared with mindbodygreen, 62% of people think you should say "I love you" "as soon as you feel it," whereas 22% think you should wait "several months," and 3% think you should wait "at least a year." On average, research has found men take about three months to say "I ...
"[One month is] not too soon if you spend every single day together for an entire month," Golden says. "That's long enough to fall in love and to verbally express it." On the flipside, Anita Chlipala, a licensed marriage and family therapist, isn't fully convinced four weeks can give you all the answers.
While there is no exact "right" amount of time, Damona Hoffman, the host of The Dates & Mates Podcast, does say there is a typical window for when men and women sincerely say "I love you." “Each relationship is different, but I would say the average is between three to six months," Hoffman tells Elite Daily.
While early relationship feels (and hormones) can be intoxicating, relationship experts warn that it might be a red flag if you or your partner is too quick to say, “I love you.”
In fact, researchers found that men thought about confessing love six weeks earlier, on average, than women. The general consensus among studies on love is that men fall in love faster than women.
Case in point: An 2018 survey of 1,000 British men and women found that while more than half of them take over three months to say, "I love you," 32% of women and 29% of men say it in one to three months—and 10% of women and 14% of men say it in just one to four weeks.
The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates. Of course, the honeymoon phase is exactly that: a phase.
Should you say it first? "Someone has to say it first," Firstein says. So don't feel intimidated if you've been waiting for your partner to say those three little words. It's possible that they are having the same hesitation you are, not because they don't feel it, but because they want to know if you do first.
“There is no absolute rule,” says Dr. Lauren Kerwin, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. “[Falling in love] can happen instantaneously or take weeks, months, or years!
The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in 2017 and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sight, while 72 per cent of men do. These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships.
A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner.
4. Guys actually like when you say it first. The pressure of responding to an "I love you" is way less than the pressure of saying it first. Think of saying it first as doing a favor, which is something you do for people you love.
Up to 16% of British people have told someone that they love them within the first month of their romance, according to a new survey, with 3% of people declaring their love within a week. During the first two or three months of being together, almost 25% of people will have said “I love you”.
“Green flags are positive indicators that a connection has the potential to flourish into a safe, healthy, lasting relationship,” Shanita Brown, PhD, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and instructor of counselor education at East Carolina University, tells SELF.
There may be many signs a man is falling in love you with, but 3 hidden signs a man is falling in love with you are he checks your social media accounts, likes to spend his free time with you, and talks about making future plans with you or even being your husband one day.
He Makes You a Priority
If your guy is serious about the relationship, usually, he will go out of his way to make you a priority. He will plan things with you for the weekend and during the week too. The bottom line is, if he makes you a priority in his life, then you can be rest assured that he's pretty serious.
Say "I love you" when you're sure that you really love this person. That means not needing to hear it said back, that means not expecting any gain from it, and that means not saying it in response to something like sex. Say "I love you" when you love someone.