Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
Borderline Personality Marriage Statistics
Unexpectedly, people with BPD do not have higher divorce rates than the general population. By an average age of about 40, the divorce rate for people with BPD is around 35%, and this is comparable to the divorce rate for the average U.S. citizen.
People with and without BPD can fall in and out of love all the time. However, falling out of love rapidly is definitely in line with the tendency to “split” the world into good and bad, loved and unloved, all or nothing.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated. This is why it's a good idea to have a support network for you and partner, especially if a breakup may occur. This network often includes a mental health professional.
Research has shown individuals with BPD and their partners tend to be less satisfied with their relationships. BPD relationships are also more likely to involve physical and psychological violence and repeated cycles of breaking up and then reconciling. These behaviors do not make for a healthy relationship.
Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating. Rather, a hallmark feature of borderline personality—impulsive behavior—sometimes manifests as sexual preoccupation, early sexual exposure, casual sexual relationships, and promiscuity.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Anyone living with BPD can still lead satisfying lives and take pleasure in long-term relationships and even life partnerships. With the proper treatment and support, people with BPD can and do have healthy and happy relationships.
If the relationship is over, the partner living with BPD could spiral down into thoughts of low self-worth and experience symptoms of depression. They may tell themselves they're worthless or experience such volatile emotions that they engage in some behaviors that may put their safety in jeopardy.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
Lying, like other signs and symptoms of the condition, tends to occur because the person with BPD is unable to regulate their feelings and impulses. It's an act borne out of pain and fear. Often, people with BPD even believe their own lies.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
In such a dark and troubling world, can having too much love be a bad thing? If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), then often the answer is yes. The balance between caring for someone as a loved one, and being utterly consumed by their well-being, can be a blurred line for people with BPD.
Fact: People with BPD are capable of giving and receiving love. People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love.
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.
BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves.
People with borderline personality disorder usually have a hypersensitive reaction to rejection. This means that they may not react to rejection as well as someone who does not have this condition. This can lead to unstable relationships, self-image, and behaviors.
Once their partner does something wrong, which brings up their pain, they usually project all the bad aspects onto them. This inflames the response, by finding fault in them, causing the splitting defense to destroy relationships. The splitting defense can amplify the problem, making it seem far worse.