Splitting often occurs cyclically and very suddenly. A person with BPD can see the world in its complexity. But they often change their feelings from good to bad rather frequently. A splitting episode can last for days, weeks, months, or even years before shifting.
There is no set period that a splitting behavior will last. A person may alternate between conflicting perceptions of another several times a day, or their perception of someone as all good or all bad may last a very long time. They will continue to split until they find more effective ways to manage BPD symptoms.
BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves.
A person with borderline personality disorder may use splitting in the following ways: People will be seen as 'perfect' or 'evil' Something will 'always' or 'never' go right. Someone will 'always' or 'never' be loving.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.
While splitting is common in folks with BPD, it's important to remember not everyone with BPD “splits” and not everyone who experiences splitting has BPD (this can manifest in people who experienced childhood trauma and/or live with other mental illnesses).
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
As a result, the fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments, sometimes abruptly cutting off, as well as making frantic attempts to hold onto relationships. These overly intense or erratic behaviors, in turn, often push loved ones away.
The treatment usually consists of daily individual sessions with a therapist and group sessions with other people with BPD. A course of MBT usually lasts around 18 months.
The American Psychiatric Association Practice Guideline for the Treatment of Patients With Borderline Personality Disorder suggests that extended hospitalization be considered for patients with BPD under specific circumstances; for example, those with persistent and severe suicidality or comorbid substance abuse or ...
Lashing out in anger, a hallmark of BPD, often stems from one basic yet intense and overriding fear — the fear of being alone. People with borderline personality disorder often go into a panic or rage when they feel that they are being abandoned or are left alone, whether that abandonment is real or imagined.
The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.
With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
Rage in a person with BPD can occur suddenly and unpredictably, often triggered by an intense fear of being alone. Fear of rejection can be so intense that they begin to anxiously expect rejection. Subtle cues that they associate with rejection can set off unexpectedly intense reactions.
Participants with BPD had more frequent, intense, and sudden experiences of aversive tension than did control participants; moreover, rejection, being alone, and failure were identified as triggering events for nearly 40% of the BPD group's increases in aversive tension.
Not all people with BPD experienced abandonment as children, but many have. Any trigger that reopens this wound, such as a romantic partner calling it quits, can cause a spiraling of emotions that can lead to feeling completely and utterly emotionally dysregulated.
Alters that take from one or more source alters as they split may have more substance or be able to quickly gain substance, but many new splits at first feel disoriented, depersonalized, hollow, flat, or incomplete.