When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.
According to research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a relationship ends. But a separate study found it takes closer to 18 months to heal from the end of a marriage. In reality, heartbreak is a grieving process - and it looks completely different for everyone.
Even ifyou were the one who initiated the split, there are five stages ofgrief that you will go through. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
Some people describe it as a dull ache, others as piercing, while still others experience it as a crushing sensation. The pain can last for a few seconds and then subside, or it can be chronic, hanging over your days and depleting you like just like the pain, say, of a back injury or a migraine.
Healing from a loss is possible, but it does take time and patience. Even if you're having a particularly hard time with it, resources like counseling and support groups can help you cope when you're going through the five stages of grief.
Experiencing the loss of a relationship due to a breakup or death is traumatic. People will likely feel strong emotions immediately following this trauma. According to the National Institute of Mental Health , these reactions are intense and can last for several weeks or months.
Acute emotional stress, positive or negative, can cause the left ventricle of the heart to be 'stunned' or paralysed, causing heart attack-like symptoms including strong chest, arm or shoulder pains, shortness of breath, dizziness, loss of consciousness, nausea and vomiting.
Broken heart syndrome is a heart condition that's often brought on by stressful situations and extreme emotions. The condition also can be triggered by a serious physical illness or surgery. Broken heart syndrome is often a temporary condition. But some people may continue to feel unwell after the heart is healed.
After you realize that bargaining didn't work, you go into the depression phase – one of the hardest stages of grief in a breakup. This is different from Clinical Depression because what you feel in this stage is a normal reaction to the loss of a relationship. You might feel sad or lost or just not yourself.
Studies suggest that most people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. One study, which evaluated 155 undergraduates who'd been through breakups in the last six months, found that 71 percent start to feel significantly better around the 11-week mark, or around three months.
While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
There's a scientific reason heartbreak hurts so much: You actually go through withdrawal-like symptoms after a breakup because the feel-good hormones you got from your partner are suddenly gone, says Elle Huerta, founder of Mend, an app and online community designed to help people post-breakup.
Depression can happen to anyone after a breakup, but some people are at greater risk. The cause of depression varies, but you may experience these feelings if you have a personal history of depression or another mood disorder.
It may be painful but we can get over it, in other words. It's not only the case that a serious break-up affects our personality; our personality also influences the way we are likely to respond to such a split.
Take the time to call family and friends. Even reach out to spend time together. Never underestimate the power of laughing and doing something fun with people who love and support you. Not only is it a great way to heal, but it also helps keep your mind off your ex.
The Reason Why It's Hard to Let Go
Loss comes in many forms, not just death. And every loss comes with a certain level of grief. Letting go of someone you love also isn't just about that person. It also signifies a big change in your life, and maybe even your identity.