The simplest and most obvious force that forms and sustains friendships is time spent together. One study estimates that it takes spending 40 to 60 hours together within the first six weeks of meeting to turn an acquaintance into a casual friend, and about 80 to 100 hours to become more than that.
In 2018, a study by Professor Jeffrey Hall suggested that it takes the average adult roughly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend. For more advanced levels of friendship, it can take more than 200 hours before you can consider someone “close”.
Combining the results of both studies, he estimated it takes between 40 and 60 hours to form a casual friendship, 80-100 hours to transition to being a friend and more than 200 hours together to become good friends. When young people fall for each other, they fall hard, Hall said.
Combining the two studies, Hall found it took between 40 and 60 hours to move from an acquaintance to a casual friendship, from 80 to 100 hours to call someone a friend, and over 200 hours of togetherness before someone rated as a best friend.
For example, it's possible to mistake your love for a close friend for romantic love. You may just have a number of shared interests or similar personalities. However, close friends can (and often do) fall in love because it's sometimes human nature to fall in love with someone close to you.
Friendships, like relationships, go through several stages. To help Cate figure out how to make new friends, let's look closer at the three main stages of friendship: contact, involvement, and intimacy.
A new study published in the 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' recently calculated that, on average, it takes about 50 hours of time with someone before you consider them a casual friend, 90 hours before you become real friends, and about 200 hours to become close friends.
Men take an average of 88 days (about three months) to tell their partner they love them, whereas women take an average of 134 days (four and a half months), according to a 2013 survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
Most friendships end gradually or fade away over time. Excuses are made for not getting together or there may be changes in circumstances (e.g., moving away, a new baby) that make it difficult for the friends to continue to interact as they once did.
Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time. Be a good listener. Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support you. Give your friend space.
Often, true friendship can be based on mutual respect, empathy, and understanding. If you're struggling with friendships or want to learn more about forming healthy relationships, consider reaching out to a counselor for further guidance.
There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What's more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
They're our most important allies in the pursuit of things like happiness, self-esteem and wellbeing. Research by an academic called Susan Degges-White found that people with three to five close friends report the highest levels of life satisfaction.
“A key to close friendship is intimacy, and a big part of intimacy is being able to be fully yourself and be seen and understood by others,” Dr. Chen said. “When people close to us don't 'get' us, it's undermining to intimacy.” Reciprocation is also a key element to creating intimacy.
An curved arrow pointing right. Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.
Psychologists say you should wait at least two months until you ask the other person to be exclusive with you. You might decide to commit to each other sooner than that, but generally speaking, eight weeks is a good timeline.
You know you have an emotional connection with someone when you care about their needs and they care about yours. "When there is an emotional connection with someone, you want them to be happy," therapist Tracie Pinnock, LMFT, tells mbg. "The fulfillment of one's desire is a major part of being happy.
In short, after the age of 25, your personality and friendships are more or less consolidated. So if you are suddenly thrust into a new environment, it's normal to feel like it's difficult for you to fit in, even if you meet people who share similar interests.
Research suggests that the number of close friends we need to feel that we have enough is somewhere between three and five. Not only that, but adults with four or five friends enjoy the highest levels of life satisfaction and those with three close friends are not far behind.
The people who seem to make friends easily tend to be naturally curious, empowerment speaker and author Suzanne Brown tells us. It's easy for them to ask questions, and they actively look for things they may have in common. “The questions they ask seem to have a natural flow,” Brown says.
On average, friends-first partners were friends for almost two years before becoming romantic partners. Other research suggests that physical attractiveness may play an important role in the friends-to-lovers pathway to romance.
As people enter adolescence and adulthood, similarity in terms of attitudes, values, and beliefs, as well as shared interests and activities, may be the basis for forming friendships.
Sometimes one turns into the other. Research has largely ignored friends-first romance initiation, focusing instead on the romance that develops between strangers. A recent investigation finds friends-first initiation of romantic relationships is not only common but also frequently preferred.