In a survey we conducted among 400 survivors of narcissistic abuse, we found that the average amount of time it took for narcissistic men to get bored with their new supply was five months and the average amount of time it took for narcissistic women to get bored with their new supply was two-and-a-half months.
Love bombing can last from weeks to years, but anecdotal data suggests the most active phase lasts 3 to 32 weeks. An un-cited study claims that both grandiose and covert narcissists reported love bombing for 25 weeks. Malignant narcissists love-bombed for 9 weeks, while communal narcissists love-bombed for 32 weeks.
Narcissists often switch out their sources of supply when they're not getting what they need. For instance, the narcissist might start an extramarital affair while maintaining their relationship with their spouse. The narcissist needs to hide their new supply from their old supply to keep everything running smoothly.
Generally speaking, narcissists look happy with their new supply because they are in the idealization phase. During this phase, they shower the new supply with love, attention, and affection, which can make it seem like they are truly happy, but this initial happiness is often superficial and short-lived.
You need to realize that most narcissists will find a new supply before they ever even dump you-before your relationship ends. This means while he is cheating on you, he's already misleading and being dishonest to the new girl or boy aka supply.
Sooner or later, they will suck their partner dry of money, enthusiasm, self-esteem, or all three, and they discard them without looking back. That's why you should never be jealous of your narcissistic ex's new partner — they haven't changed. They aren't fixed. They aren't happier with this new person.
The narcissist needs others to boost their ego and feed their feelings of grandiosity and superiority. They would not be willing to have a gap in people who serve that role, so they look for a new supply even while they are still with their old partner.
If you think the narcissist's new supply will be getting the benefit of all your hard work in the relationship, you are wrong. The narcissist has no incentive to change for the new supply, just as they had no incentive to change with you.
The primary narcissistic supply is based on attention. This attention can be in either public or private forms. Public attention might include needing to feel like a well-respected, beloved, or famed person in the community or world at large. Private attention happens at home, away from public eyes.
The answer is simple, although narcissists prefers the highly charged dynamic of their Primary Narcissistic Supply, however inevitability things go wrong (i.e. they may suddenly become bored, or they may fall-out with the person because they are not getting what they want from them).
Old supply will often be healing from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, while new supply adds to the trauma and impairs their healing through indirect or secondary abuse. New supplies become flying monkeys.
When deprived of Narcissistic Supply - both primary AND secondary - the narcissist feels annulled, hollowed out, or mentally disembowelled. This is an overpowering sense of evaporation, disintegration into molecules of terrified anguish, helplessly and inexorably.
Signs a Narcissist Loves You
They will treat you with respect. They will listen to your feelings. They will respect your boundaries. They will take responsibility for their actions.
Narcissists lose interest as the expectation of intimacy increases, or when they've won at their game. Many have trouble sustaining a relationship for more than six months to a few years. They prioritize power over intimacy and loathe vulnerability, which they consider weak.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
The primary narcissistic supply is based on attention in both its public forms such as recognition, fame, infamy, stardom, and its private, more interpersonal, types of praise, admiration, applause, fear, and repulsion.
When a narcissistic person doesn't get a constant supply of validation or someone injures their self-esteem, their confident and superior facade can collapse. A narcissistic collapse may happen because others don't see the person like they want to be seen, for example.
Your own goals seem unimportant compared to theirs, and you may push them aside in order to help them meet their goals. They may gaslight or ghost you. You feel manipulated into doing things. They may withhold things from you without reason, such as affection or intimacy.
Narcissists often engage in manipulative and controlling behaviors to secure this supply, using others as a means to boost their own ego and maintain their self-esteem. Their whole life revolves around getting their supply because it's the only way to maintain their grandiose sense of self and self-worth.
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
In fact, the love language of the narcissist is to get you to do all the work of the relationship. They feel “loved” when you are proving your love and loyalty. They believe you are invested into the relationship when you invest more into them than you invest in you.
It is often only after you have been a victim of narcissistic rage or subjected to the cycle of narcissistic abuse that your partner's true nature is revealed. It is generally better to avoid getting in too deep with a narcissist as they are rarely capable of falling in “love” permanently or changing for love.
Love bombing typically takes place during a courtship phase that can last days or weeks. It may even last for months if you seem more resistant. Ultimately, there's no set timeline for love bombing. It can continue until your partner feels they've established the necessary level of control.
To keep them hooked, remind the narcissist that you're high value. Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you.
They obsesses because this person is new to them .., they may like what he/she has to say at the time and find them interesting to the point the new supply will hardly get a minute to themselves … love bombing begins and after Narc has found out enough information and starts to get bored devaluation begins ….