A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Our survey among 500 people who have experienced narcissistic abuse revealed that on average, a narcissist's silent treatment lasts four-and-a-half days and usually ends when the narcissist needs more narcissistic supply.
While you won't get any closure, consider yourself lucky if it happens. More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you.
If they choose to give us the silent treatment then it's up to them, not you. By establishing boundaries, enforcing consequences if necessary, sharing emotions with others, and speaking up for yourself; you will take away their power, thus protecting yourself from the narcissist's silent treatment.
The person using the silent treatment may abruptly leave the house and stay out, or completely ignore the other partner the rest of the night, knowing this would be upsetting. In some cases, the use of the silent treatment may last for days or weeks.
A narcissist will ignore you for as long as it serves them. There are a few things you need to understand. A narcissist is driven, consciously or subconsciously, by the need for narcissistic supply. The narcissist is inherently lazy and will seek maximal supply for minimal effort.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away. Or, you've inflicted a narcissistic injury on them. A narcissist has a fundamentally unstable sense of self.
While it is completely understandable, it is a dangerous approach because it can cause people to use ineffective techniques, like the silent treatment, against the narcissist in their life. The silent treatment is one of the most ineffective techniques that you could use on the narcissist in your life.
Most narcissists can't tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego.
Silence keeps the abuse intact. One of the tactics a narcissist will use in the beginning (or really, at any time of a relationship), is the tactic to keep you silent. Abusers groom their target with the purpose to manipulate for their benefit.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
The silent treatment is a temporary discard. How often this happens is an indicator of underlying factors and, in a long-term relationship, will be a familiar pattern of behaviour rather than isolated incidences with people with narcissistic tendencies.
If you have ever interacted with a person who exhibits strong narcissistic or other dark personality traits, you have likely experienced what is known as the silent treatment.
Silent Treatment
This involves completely shutting down all communication with the person being ignored and completely ignoring someone who has upset them or made them angry. Narcissists enjoy this form of punishment, giving them power and control over their victims.
Due to their inflated sense of self-worth and feelings of superiority, when they are presented with information that is counter to this belief, they feel insecure and uncomfortable internally. To resolve these negative feelings, they shut down all communication to prevent further possible criticism.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
They Feel a Loss of Control
If the narcissist feels like they are losing control of the situation, a rage fit allows them to regain power over those around them.
The silent treatment can be used to manipulate and control the other person by making them feel guilty or ashamed. The silent treatment is often used as a form of punishment or as a way to control the conversation. It can also be used as a form of emotional blackmail.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.