Though the average age gap between people in heterosexual relationships in the US is about 2.3 years,¹ many relationships endure with a much wider age interval.
In short, research seems to indicate that in many cultures, an age gap of 1 to 3 years is considered ideal — but some researchers suggest even a relationship with an age gap of less than 10 years will bring more satisfaction.
An 'age gap relationship' typically refers to a couple who are seriously or casually dating, with an age difference of at least 10 years, though some people use the term to refer to shorter gaps.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
"Half-your-age-plus-seven" rule
An often-asserted rule of thumb to determine whether an age difference is socially acceptable holds that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years.
The truth is, there is no ideal or appropriate age gap in a relationship. Whether it's a 20 year age gap relationship or a 5 year age gap relationship, there will be both challenges and benefits to your situation.
Issues like fertility, starting and blending families, differences in life stages like retirement need to be worked through. But beyond that, there's no such thing as a perfect age gap. No relationship is without flaws, nor are there any guaranteed outcomes. So if you and your mate are decades apart, it may not matter.
It has been found6 that people in age-gap relationships live longer. This is potentially due to differential fertility, the ability of the younger partner to care for the older partner into old age and economic security.
If the sex is consensual (and it must be enthusiastic consent) and the other party is also aged 16 years or over it is not against the law, although there are some exceptions: If the person is very drunk or under the influence of drugs, they may not have the capacity to consent so having sex with them is an offence.
Gertrude Grubb Janeway (USA, b. 3 July 1909), was 18 when she married 81-year-old Union Civil War veteran, John Janeway on 9 June 1927 – an age difference of 63 years.
Yes, a younger man falling for an older woman is more common than many think. There are many reasons why younger men fall for older women, but most commonly, he admires her maturity and experience associated with being an older person.
An age-gap relationship will ultimately fail if the couple is socially marginalized by their family and friends. This means, they have a higher likelihood of breaking up if they believe that their inner circle would prefer that outcome.
Think of 10 years as a general guideline, but be open to other ages as well—and don't limit yourself to dating only someone older. "'Cast a wide net' is what I tell all my clients,” Sussman says. “Men should date older, and women should be OK experimenting with dating younger. And we should all be more open-minded.”
Relationships with a big age gap can work if you're willing to put the effort in. There are times when they can seem more difficult because of generational differences; so, it's important to common interests and goals. If your values are aligned, it doesn't really matter if there is a large age gap.
Research suggests that an age gap of 27 to 32 months may be associated with the best health outcomes for mother and child. In terms of sibling relationship, siblings who are closer in age tend to fight more but are also closer which may have positive benefits for social skills.
If you are 16 years old and above, you can legally have sex (or do another sexual activity) with another person who is 16 years or older as long as you both agree to it.
This is exactly two years. For example, if a person is 17 and has sex with someone who is 15, it is not a crime. But if the person was 18, it is a crime unless the person believed the person was 16 or older. For more information about what is considered a sexual act, see Sexual assault.
About legal age in Australia
As your child grows up and becomes more independent, you might be wondering how old they need to be before they can do certain things. In Australia, you're considered to be an adult when you turn 18 years old.
Couples with a zero to three-year age difference showed greater satisfaction than those with a four- to six-year gap. Likewise, couples with a four- to six-year gap showed greater satisfaction than those with a seven-plus year gap. In general, marital satisfaction decreased as the age difference increased.
Many people assume that age-gap couples fare poorly when it comes to relationship outcomes. But some studies find the relationship satisfaction reported by age-gap couples is higher. These couples also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower jealousy than similar-age couples.
Is a 15-year age difference too much? Not necessarily. If you and your partner have shared interests and similar goals, treat each other with kindness and respect, and enjoy your relationship, then don't let age get in the way of things!
In Western countries, of male-female couples have an age-gap of 10 years or more, rising to 25% in male-male unions and 15% of female-female relationships. For some the gap is even larger – data suggests that around 1% of heterosexual couples in the US have an age difference of 28 years or more.
There is no exact maximum or minimum acceptable age difference considered good or bad in a relationship. Research shows that married couples with a one-year age gap have a much lower chance of separation than couples with large age gaps.
Is that too much of an age gap? Short answer no. You are both still in the same generation so you should have similar interests and things in common.