How long is a situationship supposed to last? Situationships can last for a few days, weeks, months, or even years. Just like in other relationships, there's no expiration date unless one or both of you choose to end the situationship and move on.
The people involved in a situationship just go with the flow. Until one day, they have this realization that they need to have the 'talk,' and that changes everything. If it goes well, they will commit and have a real relationship. Sadly, not everyone gets to have a happy-ever-after.
Over the years I've seen clients in a variety of situationships that serve a purpose in their lives for a time. Some of my clients find themselves in long-distance situationships, and these relationships can be quite powerful, with the parties involved staying in touch for years.
I think situationships are trickier to get over because you choose the person who does it for you on a chemical level. You don't directly address what the other person is looking for, and/or you clock signs of unavailability but avoid facing the disappointing truth because the attraction is so strong.
The undefined nature of situationships can make them singularly hard to recover from, says Jessica Alderson. As she says, “in situationships, there's often a lack of clear boundaries, commitment, and labels, making it difficult to know where each person stands”.
Less than a relationship, but more than a casual encounter or booty call, a situationship refers to a romantic relationship that is, and remains, undefined. "A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship," explains psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert.
It's a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. It's a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. It's a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates.
Bilek agrees that an open and frank conversation is the only productive transition from a situationship into something more. “Tell them, 'This is a good partnership for me,' and make sure to ask them how they feel.” Even if the conversation is hard, the resulting clarity will be worth the stress, Romanoff says.
These types of relationships often lack clear boundaries, commitments, and labels, which can lead to confusion and frustration. While situationships may seem convenient at first, they can quickly turn toxic and leave you feeling unfulfilled.
Unlike being in a relationship where you might have set dates and plans, a situationship is spontaneous and lacks consistency. You might see a person many times one week and then not see them again for a few weeks. "
As a rough rule, two months in should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject, Stott said. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.
People who tend to gravitate towards situationships are those who want the emotional connection and intimacy with a partner in a compartmentalized way. They can have emotional presence and connection in person, but when apart, they can have their freedom.
The first and most important rule of any situationship is to define what you both want out of it. Are you just looking for a casual fling, or are you hoping for something more serious? Make sure you're on the same page so that you don't end up with hurt feelings down the road. Communication is key.
5. Keep Firm Boundaries. You can and should set boundaries in any relationship. If both parties agree on the situationship, they should also agree on those boundaries.
Breadcrumbing, also known as “Hansel and Gretelling”, refers to leading someone on by contacting them sporadically and without the intention of entering into a relationship. Breadcrumbers are not usually interested in commitment; their aim is to receive attention and feel attractive and popular in the dating world.
Situationships are unique because you're not tethered to the usual norms and stages of a traditional relationship. With so much uncertainty, it's up to you to be clear about how you're interpreting your connection. You're not exclusive in a situationship unless you've had a conversation explicitly saying so.
But a situationship ending can be a brutal experience. Sure, commitment may not be present, but you can't take away the pain from a situationship breakup. It hurts just as much as normal breakups do. In some cases, even more.
Since there is no clear line or boundary for what a situationship should be and how one should handle it, it can result in emotional and mental trauma, just like it does during a breakup but worse.
While some people believe following the no-contact rule will help them win their situationship over, this is not the case. No contact is to help you move forward and nothing else.
If you're feeling down, off, or icky, recognize that you're going through a process of grief and give yourself the support you need to get through it: write in your journal, talk to a therapist, or double-down on your favorite self-care staples, like spending time outdoors, getting a massage, going to dinner with ...
"Ending a situationship may not feel as straightforward as a relationship simply because no labels are attached to it, leading you to question if a conversation 'to end it' is really necessary," West says.
While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing. A friends-with-benefits relationship is when friends engage in casual sex without taking on the commitment aspect of a relationship. A situationship, on the other hand, lacks a formal label.