“Space can be from a couple of hours to a couple of days or weeks,” says Ruiz, though he generally doesn't recommend his clients take longer than 3 to 4 weeks. “The timeframe that is being considered should be reasonable for both parties to agree with,” he says.
Take time apart
Once you've decided to give him 3 days (and you've both agreed on it), take time apart from each other. This means avoiding any form of communication, including texting, calling, or social media. Give each other space to cool off, recollect your emotions, and reflect on the argument.
Avoid clinging: Sometimes one partner want space after a fight, whereas the other feels clingy. It might feel satisfying to have your partner nearby, but the time they take to reflect can strengthen the relationship in the long-term. Clinging can also make things worse when that person needs to take a time out.
The 3-day rule is a cooling-off period after an argument that helps ensure that whatever disagreement you have had doesn't get worse. The idea is that both of you have time to process your own feelings about what happened.
It's fine if you need some space after a fight. “Ignoring your partner will only amplify the hurt and anger,” says Hall. Just don't give him the cold shoulder without telling him.
The bottom line? Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
If you temporarily split from your partner during the night after arguing, you're not alone. In a survey by The Sleep Foundation, 52.9% of adults who slept separately from their partners for a variety of reasons reported better sleep quality, and tended to get about 37 more minutes of sleep per night.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
It can also be a helpful guideline if you want to wait before apologizing. The 3 day rule works well because it gives everyone the time they need to calm down from the fight, but it isn't too long that you forget what the fight was about. If you are too quick to talk about the fight, you might easily get angry again.
How long should space in a relationship last? Ultimately, this depends on what you and your partner decide is best for your relationship. “Space can be from a couple of hours to a couple of days or weeks,” says Ruiz, though he generally doesn't recommend his clients take longer than 3 to 4 weeks.
If someone genuinely needs some space and time away, they may distance themselves from you. However, they would never stop loving, caring, or checking in on you. So if he needs it, give him the space he wants while you continue to show that you care without being too indulgent.
Spending time apart gives him a chance to miss you.
Stop calling and texting him for a few days, and don't hang out with him. While you're gone, he'll realize how much he wants you in his life. Space also gives you both time to calm down from the fight so you can have a healthy discussion when you talk again.
He will miss you most often after you stop missing him. So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality.
What is the silent treatment? The silent treatment can be defined as a shift from regular relationship conversation and engagement, to minimal or no engagement that lasts for longer than a reasonable 'cooling down period' after an argument or issue.
Many have asked, “what are backburner relationships?” Backburner relationships describe partnerships where you maintain communication with someone from your past or an ex should your present relationship not work out. According to psychologists, many of us can't detach from an ex.
The narcissist suddenly stops responding to you or goes completely silent, refusing to engage in any communication. This can be either in person or virtually (“ghosting”). They ignore your attempts at communication and physical touch. This can be used as a way to punish you or avoid addressing uncomfortable topics.
Talk about the fight
“Communicating about the reason for the argument, as well as about how each partner is feeling, is a crucial part of resolving conflict.” Using "I feel” statements can help you express your feelings without placing all the blame onto your partner, who might otherwise get defensive.
A few hours is probably enough.
Everyone's different, and your partner might need more or less time than you to calm down. In general, men need more time and space after an argument than women do. If you aren't sure, simply reach out to your partner and ask if they're ready to talk yet.
Over a third of Americans are "sleep-divorced," or sleep in separate beds. Sleeping in different rooms can improve sleep quality and make you miss each other more. A therapist shares how to tell if it's right for you and how to broach the topic with a partner.
The 80/20 relationship theory states that you can only get about 80% of your wants and needs from a healthy relationship, while the remaining 20% you need to provide for yourself. Sounds like the perfect excuse to treat yourself to a spa day. This idea of an 80/20 time split is nothing new.
So if you can do things for 21 days like no contact, giving him space, and focusing on yourself, you can easily manage your emotions and stop thinking about him. I recommend three weeks because anything less than that is too short and anything over that starts to get a bit too long.
But the truth is, space isn't a bad thing, even in a romantic relationship. It may make you feel a little panicky if your partner says that they need some breathing room, but space can be a positive force in a relationship. In fact, it can be a great thing.