How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
While the numbers vary depending on the scope and type of survey, it appears that close to half, or 45% of individuals in monogamous relationships admit to having an affair. Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating.
Infidelity affects 1 in every 2.7 couples and most (65%-70%) stay together after. Most partners engaged in infidelity actually want to stay in their relationships. There's a great potential to have a stronger marriage/relationship after infidelity than before.
In fact, “80/90% of the couples we see rebuild from an affair and most have a better relationship than pre-affair,” says psychotherapist and relationship expert Tom Buckland from The Relationship Centre.
The Numbers
But infidelity doesn't always cause a divorce: Marriages can heal and recover even when there has been a betrayal. American Psychological Association research found that 20-40% of divorces are caused by an affair.
80% of those who divorce during an affair regret the decision. Just two years after marriage, an estimated 20% of couples make love fewer than 10 times in a year. A marriage ceremony typically ends with a kiss because in ancient Rome, a kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts, and marriage was seen as a contract.
While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is over 60% compared to around 50% for first marriages.
It's absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it's also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.
Both sexes forgive similarly
Despite experiencing the different types of infidelity differently, men and women are about equally willing to forgive their partner. And the new findings show that the degree of forgiveness is not related to the type of infidelity.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger. Read more here.
Relationships that were strong prior to the affair recover more fully after infidelity. Married couples stay together at a higher percentage than unmarried couples. Couples with children are more likely to continue the relationship following a betrayal.
If your partner continues to see the person with whom they cheated, it can be really hard to heal and move forward together. This can be a sign that they don't consider your feelings and the impact the affair had on you. If that is the case, it's a good reason to walk away and know your worth.
Experts like Nelson agree the only reason to stay with a cheating spouse is if he or she is deeply and genuinely sorry for the betrayal and willing to work for your forgiveness. This means they show they understand the pain you went through after learning about the affair, Dr.
In this new study, 45 percent of individuals who reported cheating on their partner in the first relationship reported also doing so in the second. Among those who had not cheated in the first, far fewer (18 percent) cheated in the second.
How Do Affairs Usually End? Affairs usually end in one of three ways: divorce and remarriage, divorce and relationship loss, or the recommitment to the relationship that was betrayed. Each of these resolutions to an affair has its own pros and cons.
And many likely do last a lifetime, because couples fall into the trap of thinking that sexless marriages are “normal.” While they are common – estimates for the number of sexless marriages range from 10 to 20 percent of all marriages – if one or both partners are unhappy, that is never normal.
So, why is it that men find it difficult to forgive their partners if caught cheating? According to a British Psychotherapist, Philip Hodson, men often find it more difficult to forgive a cheating partner, because it affects their masculinity, and to them, it might signal the end of the relationship.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Things that can trigger flashbacks include spending time with your partner who cheated, romantic sounds, love stories, not hearing from your partner and sometimes they can just come out of the blue when you least expect it. Being betrayed by a loved one can often be traumatic.
Right now, learning that it takes an average of 2 to 5 years to get over the pain of infidelity may seem impossible. How could you ever get over such a betrayal? Yes, recovering from such a blow is going to take a long time, but there are actions, such as therapy, that can facilitate recovery and save your marriage.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women. These new numbers show that remarriage has declined for both genders.
The crude divorce rate (divorces per 1,000 Australian residents) was 2.2 divorces per 1,000 residents in 2021, up from 1.9 in 2020. The total number of divorces granted in 2021 was 56,244, the highest number of divorces recorded since 1976.
Some red flags that you or your partner aren't really ready to remarry include: You still fantasize about getting back together with your former spouse. You are angry or bitter about your ex and the divorce. You don't feel like you can be honest with your new partner.