Dr. Rooney advises keeping things in perspective. “Kids need just one or two good friends. You don't have to worry about them being the most popular kid in their class.”
Fully 98% of teens say they have one or more close friends: 78% say they have between one and five close friends, while 20% have six or more close friends. Just 2% of teens say they do not have anyone they consider a close friend.
To make new friends, kids need to learn how to introduce themselves to others, and think of appropriate things to say. They also need to learn how to listen well. And they need to learn how to provide conversational feedback — to show that they understand what another person is expressing.
You might see these preferences as young as 6 weeks. By about 6 months you should definitely see your baby taking a stronger interest in other children. Friendships usually develop when children are around 4 years old. Building a friendship takes emotional skills, social skills and some self-control.
The ideal number in our core group
Research by an academic called Susan Degges-White found that people with three to five close friends report the highest levels of life satisfaction.
About one-third of kids who are very-well-liked by their classmates don't have a mutual very-best friend, while about one-third of kids who are widely disliked by their classmates do have a mutual very-best friend, although those friendships tend to be of lower quality (Parker & Asher, 1993.
Should I be worried? No, not really, particularly if it isn't bothering your child. There are many reasons why your child might not be invited to a lot of parties and playdates. Perhaps your child has a smaller group of friends or your child's friends do after-school activities or are in after-school care.
There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What's more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
What has come to be known as Dunbar's number contends that humans are only cognitively able to maintain about 150 connections at once (subsequent research has put the number higher). That includes an inner circle of about five close friends, followed by larger concentric circles of more casual types of friends.
In the words of motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The people you spend the most time with shape who you are. They determine what conversations dominate your attention.
At 3 years old, children often meet others at playgroup or child care and may be able to name their friends and want to play with them. Sometimes children this age don't have a clear idea who their friends are. By age 4, children usually have friends at preschool or day care.
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst investigated how the context in which we meet people influences our social network. One of his conclusions: you lose about half of your close network members every seven years. You are stuck with your family but you can choose your friends.
There are many reasons why a child may not have many, or any, friends. She might be noticeably different, either physically or intellectually. He may lack social skills or a have a personality that puts off others his own age. He might not share the same interests as his classmates (for example he may hate sports).
You might assume that only very young children have imaginary friends, but research has shown that older kids have imaginary pals, too. “It's common with children up to age 12,” says Dr. Eshleman. Imaginary friends can be figments of your child's imagination.
Signs of social awkwardness
having difficulty talking. feeling self-conscious. avoiding eye contact. unable to read body language.
Here are some suggestions for you: Discover and encourage your child's talents. Find out what he is interested in, such as art, music, math, nature or helping the less fortunate, and help him find ways to explore and develop his talents in these areas. Help him find volunteer activities around his talents.
Some kids develop it naturally at a young age, while others need more time. In some cases, kids simply haven't met anyone they can connect with. Different challenges can also get in the way. Some kids get too nervous or anxious to talk to others.
39% have 3-5 close friends. 18% have 6-9 close friends. 27% have 10 or more friends.
Even if the age of the 4th friend is added, the average remains 23.
The average age of a group of 4 friends is 36 years.