Be straightforward about your intentions
The most important part of a good, healthy hookup is being honest about exactly what you're looking for. Do you want someone to take you on a date? Or do you literally just want to mess around? In terms of messing around, what are you in search of?
Most experts agree that casual relationships usually last anywhere from a few weeks to 3-4 months. If you haven't had the relationship move to exclusivity and commitment by the fourth month, then maybe your partnership doesn't have much of a future beyond being casual.
Say, for example, the three-day rule. Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.
The 3-Day Rule. This unspoken rule says you must wait approximately three days after a first date before you contact someone again. People follow this rule because they don't want to come off as desperate or too interested. Often, people feel uneasy if the level of desire isn't equal in a relationship.
Start off a conversation with her by just saying “Hi.” If she greets you back, make small talk and ask her basic questions about herself. Keep talking to her as long as she seems interested in having a conversation. Say something like, “Hey, I couldn't help but notice you from across the room,” “Hi!
Sex outside a committed relationship can offer a low-pressure space to explore sexuality. Studies suggest that sexual exploration can support a healthy transition to adulthood. Additionally, casual sex can also be fun and help boost self-confidence.
Despite the fact that tons of people are having casual sex — whether it's one night stands, friends with benefits, or a platonic friend you have sex with once in a while — there's still negative stigma surrounding casual sex, including strong beliefs that casual sex is bad for you.
Keep your expectations low.
In most cases, the person you are hooking up with is not your “forever,” and they don't owe you anything. Establish boundaries early on to avoid getting your feelings hurt.
Talk honestly about your feelings.
You can try saying something like, “I'm really having fun with you. How are you feeling about hooking up?” You could also say, “I feel like things are kind of awkward now when we hang out in a group.
As a general rule, maintain emotional distance from your friend with benefits. Talking often can increase intimacy, which may compromise the relationship. If your FWB is talking to you every day, it could mean they are falling for you, that they want to be better friends, or that they want to string you along.
Two or three times a week if you're keeping it casual.
If you've only gone on a couple of dates so far, it might seem like you're coming on too strong if you text every day.
Hooking up is usually a one-time thing. It could be regular, but carries no emotional attachment and is not in any way a relationship. It's purely physical, and usually you do not know the person at all, or may have just met them.
So when you see the number 4, 44, or 444, it's a sign you're on the right path and are heading in a positive direction with that partner. “Trusting inner instincts is the foundation of this number when involved in moving forward in the relationship,” Berry reminds.
If you want to leave immediately after sex, you're certainly entitled to do that. If you want to stay—say you're exhausted, or he's got a really comfy bed and 500 channels of HD—then simply get up and leave upon waking.
“Four to five days of chatting before you initiate the date is often the sweet spot. It gives you enough time to build that foundation of trust, but it's not so long that the momentum drops off.”
It refers to the idea that when guys see a woman they fancy, they have three seconds to approach her, make eye contact, or strike up a conversation before she loses interest - or he bottles it.
The 90-10 rule is about making it clear—through words, actions, body language, whatever tools you have—what you want to do, and then letting the other person decide if it's what they want too. If she doesn't "come the other 10," there's no kiss.
Here's how long people wait, according to research.
Of those sexually active, a slight majority (51 percent) said they waited a few weeks before having sex, while just over one-third (38 percent) had sex either on the first date or within the first couple of weeks.
It's best to meet them outside in a public area, a cafe or at a local bus stop or train station. This will help you figure out if they're like they said they would be, and hopefully give you some time to gauge what kind of person they are before you take things any further.