Gentle: Don't attack, threaten, or lay guilt trips. (Act) Interested: Listen to what your partner has to say, don't interrupt them, and be sensitive to what they are feeling. Validate: Be non-judgmental and validate their feelings and problems. Easy Manner: Try to be lighthearted and ease your partner along.
Once the initial breakup has happened, it's not uncommon for the situation to become much more volatile in some cases. There can be more consistent triggers, gaslighting attempts, manipulation and emotional outbursts. BPD relationships will always work in some form of cycle.
2) Do not abandon your partner with BPD—if possible—rather, slowly disengage and detach with love and compassion. “Quitting” your partner suddenly can lead to his or her self-harming behavior—or worse. Try to transition from intimate partner to “supporting other” whenever possible.
Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.
Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.
Borderline Hoovering
At the end of the relationship, someone with BPD may feel frantic, and anxious to keep their partner around. Borderline hoovering may look like: Self-harming and telling the other person about it. Threatening suicide or other dangerous behavioral responses. Trying to love-bomb to win the partner ...
Sometimes people with BPD return after no contact, but it's important to remember that this doesn't mean the relationship will automatically work out. The best way to rebuild a relationship with your BPD ex is by starting fresh and focusing on your own needs.
If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them. For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation.
What is a borderline narcissist? "Borderline narcissist" is not a diagnosis. It may be used informally to refer to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) who also has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Or, it may refer to someone who has some symptoms of NPD, but not enough for a diagnosis.
“One of the biggest and most challenging aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often 'The Chameleon Effect' – or 'mirroring'. This is the constant, unconscious change in the person's 'self', as they struggle to fit in with their environment, or the people around them.
Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
A fear of abandonment is central to BPD. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you're just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading. Unfortunately, intense fear can lead to your partner being clingy or making unreasonable demands on your time.
We're loyal partners and friends
Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.
MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.
People with BPD often have patterns of intense or unstable relationships. This may involve a shift from extreme adoration to extreme dislike, known as a shift from idealization to devaluation. Relationships may be marked by attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
DARVO is an acronym for deny, attack, reverse victim, and offender. The DARVO method is employed when an emotional or physical abuse victim confronts the offender. Instead of accepting responsibility or apologizing, the perpetrator denies the abuse, attacks the victim's character, and then makes themselves the victim.