Individuals with symptoms of borderline personality disorder may experience great pain when their romantic partners leave them. If you are breaking up with someone with BPD, being compassionate and gentle will benefit both you and your loved one. Blame and defensiveness is best avoided when breaking up a relationship.
2) Do not abandon your partner with BPD—if possible—rather, slowly disengage and detach with love and compassion. “Quitting” your partner suddenly can lead to his or her self-harming behavior—or worse. Try to transition from intimate partner to “supporting other” whenever possible.
People with BPD may move quickly from feelings of idealization to devaluation regarding their partner and are more likely to terminate relationships than people without BPD. If you are dating someone with BPD, you may find it easy to blame yourself for your partner's erratic actions and symptoms.
…these are red flag behaviors of: fear of abandonment, inappropriate or intense anger, impulsivity, patterns of unstable/intense relationships, and emotional dysregulation.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects many areas of a person's life, including their relationships. People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship.
They Have Unrealistic Expectations. "People with BPD are looking to their relationships to be the answer to all of their interpersonal and emotional needs," Dr. Unruh said. They tend to look for "perfect" relationships, he added, and their expectations often don't match up with those of the average person.
Focus on the emotions, not the words.
People with BPD need validation and acknowledgement of the pain they're struggling with. Listen to the emotion your loved one is trying to communicate without getting bogged down in attempting to reconcile the words being used.
Relationships. Relationships are one of the most common triggers for people with BPD. People with the disorder tend to experience a higher than usual sensitivity to being abandoned by their loved ones. This leads to feelings of intense fear and anger.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Acknowledge their feelings, but express that you feel disrespected, upset, or overwhelmed by their current behavior. You should never ignore or stonewall anyone, but saying no (in a respectful manner) is perfectly acceptable and sometimes necessary.
Lying is a characteristic often linked to such emotions, as people with Borderline Personality Disorder are highly sensitive to perceived rejection by others, and therefore they lie to avoid upsetting and alienating those close to them,” says Ellen Golding, MFT.
Personality disorders and pathological lying
People with these personality disorders may lie to gain sympathy or social status, or to preserve a false sense of self. Pathological liar signs can also be symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). With BPD, lying is often a way to avoid rejection or abandonment.
This can be tremendously frustrating for friends and family members. It's important to understand that the person with BPD isn't consciously lying—he truly believes his viewpoint is correct even when it's blatantly false.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
Symptoms of borderline personality disorder can include: Behavioral symptoms: Impulsivity and recklessness, such as impulsive, unsafe sex, reckless driving, substance abuse, spending sprees, and binge-eating. Seductive or flirtatious behavior.
Anger in people with BPD may represent one side of their feelings which can rapidly reverse so keeping this point in mind can help avoid taking the anger personally. Sit with them through it and remind them their feelings are valid and you are there to support them.