Calmly reassure the person with BPD when setting limits. Say something like, “I love you and I want our relationship to work, but I can't handle the stress caused by your behavior. I need you to make this change for me.”
Often individuals with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder are self-critical. Their lives might be full of self-hatred that manifests through self-sabotaging acts, addiction, depression, a lack of motivation, or self-harming behaviors.
There are so many reasons that people refuse to get help. Many are afraid of the stigma attached to mental health issues. Others feel they cannot commit the time and/or financial resources required to engage in therapy.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
BPD Triggers Loneliness and Isolation
It may spring from your fear of being rejected or abandoned. This fear can make you feel lonely, even when you have a partner or loving family. Also typical with borderline personality is co-occurring mental illness. One of the most common is depression.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
People with borderline personality disorder experience an unstable perception of themselves, which might cause them to feel unlovable. They also experience splitting, a type of all-or-nothing thinking1 which can cause them to see themselves in an extremely negative light.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
The BPD friendship cycle starts with intense idealization but eventually moves to devaluation once the BPD person's fear of rejection and low self-esteem come into play. To maintain a friendship long-term, it's important to communicate, find support, and avoid getting sucked into the BPD drama.
One of the experiences of interacting with individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they sometimes do not seem truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there may be something lacking.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
Those with borderline personality disorder, or BPD, a mental illness marked by unstable moods, often experience trouble maintaining interpersonal relationships. New research indicates that this may have to do with lowered brain activity in regions important for empathy in individuals with borderline personality traits.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
BPD in particular is one of the lesser-known mental illnesses, but all the same it is one of the hardest to reckon with. (Some people dislike the term so much they prefer to refer to emotionally unstable personality disorder.)
Intense episodic irritability or anxiety lasting a few hours or more than a few days). Recurring feelings of emptiness. Frequent intense, inappropriate anger or issues controlling temper. Severe dissociative symptoms or stress-related paranoia.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.
How are personality disorders treated? Personality disorders are some of the most difficult disorders to treat in psychiatry. This is mainly because people with personality disorders don't think their behavior is problematic, so they don't often seek treatment.
Within borderline personality disorder, lack of appropriate social skills, empathy, manners, conflict resolution and self-care may all be demonstrated.