This isn't about your friendship, so the best approach to this is to celebrate one-on-one with the couple and make sure they know how much you value them and are happy for their marriage. Explain clearly that it's just not a task you can take on and that someone else might be more suitable for the role.
While it'd be a kind gesture, if you're not feeling up for it, simply tell them so in the nicest way possible. Say you're happy you two have started a friendship and you'd love to be a part of the day, but you don't think you could give it your all as a wedding party member right now.
Although it might be uncomfortable, you can most certainly say "No." While you technically don't need an excuse, this is one of the times where you should provide one to be polite. "Having some kind of an explanation is good just so the other person can understand your perspective," Post says.
“If you just do not want to go, that's totally up to you,” she adds. But the most important thing is how you express yourself. “It's more what and how you communicate the reason to the couple to ensure you don't hurt their feelings if you simply don't care to go,” Meier explains.
If you're unsure where to begin, here is some language to use as a jumping off point: I am so honored that you asked me to be in your bridal party, but I'm going to have to decline. I know that being in the bridal party — even for someone who is low-key, like you!
Again, you can change your mind about being a bridesmaid or maid of honour - the decision always lies with you. It's important to remember, however, that the longer you part of someone's wedding party, the more disappointed and upset they are going to be if you change your mind.
If you don't have the means, experts agree that it's totally okay to decline the opportunity if and when a bride offers you a spot on her A-list.
And I mean you're really, really not alone. Out of 2,000 newlyweds, married in or after 2010, surveyed by Dana Rebecca Designs, a whopping 76 percent said there were things they would do differently and 43 percent said they actually have regrets about some aspects of the wedding. See, told you you're not alone.
On average, 83 percent of guests indicated that they were coming to our users' weddings while 17 percent of invitees declined their invitation. In other words, if you have a 100-person guest list, you can expect 83 guests on your big day and 17 people to decline.
Wedding day regrets are universal among everyone who has ever gotten married, even if it's only over small things. With weddings, because they are once in a lifetime, regrets are in a special category. And they can be about anything. From who you invited, to what you spent, and all…
You should try to do it one-on-one and also in person if you can. As for what to say, be sure to let the bride know exactly why you no longer want to be a bridesmaid so that she can understand the decision that you have made.
If you can't commit to being a bridesmaid, be honest. Let the bride-to-be know that you have a lot on your plate and that you don't want all of the things on your schedule to detract from her celebration.
A recent study conducted by event management software company RSVPify generally corroborates that 80 percent estimate, finding that, of couples who used their platform to manage RSVPs, an average of 83 percent of invited guests accepted their invitation, while 17 percent declined.
Thank them for letting you know.
You might say, “Aw, that's a bummer, but I understand. Thank you for giving me a heads up,” or, “I appreciate you telling me ahead of time. I'm sorry you can't make it!” If they just declined on your e-vite but they didn't say anything to you, don't reach out to them to thank them.
Typically, a guestlist of 75 to 150 people is considered an "average" wedding size. However, average guest counts fluctuate too. Did you know that about ten more guests are invited to weddings this year than last year? That brings the national average to just over 100 wedding guests.
A lot of weddings were put on pause during the pandemic. But now that they're in full swing again, you may be getting more invitations. A recent survey found the average person was invited to four wedding this year. The average person was expected to spend $3,000 as a wedding guest.
“A general overall percentage between 75-85 percent of wedding guests usually attend.” The breakdown: 85 percent of local guests, 55 percent of out-of-town guests, and 35 percent of destination wedding guests will show up, Buckley said.
Finalizing a guest list may be the most stressful part of wedding planning. You, your fiancé, and both sets of parents often have opinions about who should (and shouldn't!) be invited on the big day.
“I wish I'd relaxed and stopped stressing…”
This was, easily, the biggest regret most brides had. All too many said they wish they'd just relaxed and enjoyed all the little moments on their big day, particularly those special moments they should have enjoyed with their new groom.
As long as you are open and honest about what your schedule will and won't allow, you'll likely be able to come to a conclusion you're both happy with—whether that means you stay in the bridal party or not.
There is no age limit.
"Explain how much your friendship means to you, yet you want to make sure that everyone at your wedding has the best time possible—especially your fiancé and you included—and that's why you feel the need to rescind the ask. The key is to be clear and remain firm in your decision," Dulles offers.
One of the most important things to remember is that if you have RSVP'd to a wedding, it is not polite to cancel at the last minute. Unfortunately, this happens more often than it should and can cause significant stress for couples planning their special day.
Answer: Traditionally, guests are expected to stay until after the cutting of the cake. This was usually the last thing the couple did before making their getaway.