While the narcissistic mother gets off on the power she holds over others, including her children, the controlling mother really believes that without her intervention, the children would fail at just about everything. She's motivated by fear, but masquerades her control as a form of strength.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
People with overbearing mothers or an overbearing parent may be more likely to struggle making decisions, suffer from anxiety, have low self-esteem, and feel uncomfortable in leadership positions. All of these can negatively impact a child's quality of life, and all of these can carry over into adulthood.
Being raised by an overbearing mother can result in low self-esteem, self-doubt, and dependence on others. Children of overbearing mothers may grow up to be entitled and expect everyone to make things happen for them, because they never had to struggle to achieve things on their own or learn to problem-solve.
By playing the victim and making the child responsible for her life and actions, the mother enmeshes the two identities. Assigning the child the role of rescuer—or encouraging him or her to take it on—also enmeshes and obliterates the healthy boundaries that should exist between the parent and child.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
What is narcissistic rage? When a narcissistic parent explodes in rage at her child, she seeks to destroy and ask questions later. Children who suffered bouts of narcissistic rage from a parent often describe feeling hated by the parent.
Ignoring a narcissist may result in them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing and begging for forgiveness or smearing you to others. If you want a narcissist to go away, you must ignore them consistently and permanently, or they will likely try to hoover you back into their life.
While the narcissistic mother gets off on the power she holds over others, including her children, the controlling mother really believes that without her intervention, the children would fail at just about everything. She's motivated by fear, but masquerades her control as a form of strength.
Characteristics of a manipulative parent
Narcissistic parents have inflated egos and a sense of self-importance. They manipulate their children to get what they want damaging their children's emotional health. A narcissistic mother, in particular, often manipulates by playing the victim.
Feeling valued for how you're perceived (not who you are)
A mother with narcissistic tendencies is typically overly concerned with her daughter's appearance and achievements and how they reflect back on her, says Lis. As a result, the daughter doesn't learn to be her authentic self.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”
According to Dr. Malkin, there are three basic types of narcissistic parents — classic (extroverted), covert (introverted) and communal. It's important to understand these different types so you can better understand (and heal) from your experience growing up.
Your narcissistic mother really does hate your body, and here's why: The simple answer is that she hates her own body and yours by extension. In her myopic view, as her daughter, you simultaneously represent her and pose a threat to her; your body is a kaleidoscope of her distorted projections.
The psychological effects of a narcissistic mother on her daughter can be long-lasting. The daughter may struggle with trust issues, abandonment issues, and self-esteem issues. She may also find it difficult to form healthy relationships due to the emotional manipulation she experienced from her mother.
The Connection Between C-PTSD and a Narcissistic Parent
C-PTSD manifests with signs and symptoms like: Feeling unable to control your emotions. A sense that you are different (in a bad way) from everyone else. Dissociation and detachment.
Emotionally invalidates, guilt-trips and gaslights her children. A childs reactions to her narcissistic mothers abuse are frequently met with invalidation, shaming and further gaslighting. The narcissistic mother lacks empathy for the feelings of her children and fails to consider their basic needs.
Mothers living with covert narcissism may tend to play the victim, shift blame, or set high expectations for their children. Being the child of a narcissistic mother may impact your mental health. If it has, healing is possible once you become aware of how it's affected you.
It's a phenomenon called the narcissistic abuse cycle. This cycle is broken down into three important phases: idealization, devaluation, and rejection. By understanding these key points, people who are struggling with narcissism or those who are in a relationship with a narcissist can get the help they need.
Common toxic parent traits include a lack of empathy with their children and inconsistency in expressing love, understanding, and warmth. This may be because they came from similar toxic families. Unfortunately, a lack of empathy can lead to a poor bond between mother and child.
The most common toxic behavior of parents is to criticize their child, express self-wishes, complain about the difficulties of raising a child, make unhealthy comparisons, and make hurtful statements1.
A toxic mother-daughter relationship is a dysfunctional relationship that can be detrimental to your physical, mental, or emotional well-being. It can manifest in various ways and is not something that just develops out of the blue.