Being nice is a positive trait to have. As humans, we truly appreciate and value supportive and compassionate friends and family. But when the balance is off, it can be detrimental to yourself, and even to those you think you are doing the right thing by.
Niceness has been referred to as our 'most fundamental social dysfunction' (Summers, 2005) and in nursing, niceness can be (and often is) toxic and disabling.
People who are always nice tend to hold in negative emotions, often resulting in depression, anxiety, and addiction. Those who are always nice may periodically act out or even collapse from exhaustion.
People with Williams syndrome are described as having exceptionally friendly personalities, extremely sensitive and empathic, and therefore are also called “love children.” Williams syndrome is a genetic disorder caused by the deletion of one of the two copies of about 26 genes found on chromosome 7 in humans [1].
Often, being too nice in a relationship is a sign of a deeper insecurity. It may stem from our attachment style or from experiences we had in childhood. Being too accommodating in a relationship may also be a sign of low self esteem or codependency in relationships.
Sometimes, too nice really is a red flag. Someone who seems too nice could actually be love bombing you, an early warning sign of abuse, for instance. "Although on the surface, you may feel someone is too nice, it's actually your intuition trying to give you a subtle warning that something is off," Nikhade says.
It might sound cheesy, but it's true. Research has repeatedly shown that kindness has the power to benefit both the giver and the receiver – not only can it boost our mood and self-esteem, but it also helps to foster a sense of community and can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.
fastidious. finicky. genteel. goody-goody. goody-two-shoes.
People pleasing isn't a mental illness, but it can be an issue that adversely affects how many people, with or without mental illness, relate to others. Most of all, people pleasers try to nourish other people without adequately nourishing themselves.
Overly-nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves. Genuinely kind people are giving because it's in their nature to care, and since they have no ulterior motives, they aren't concerned with whether or not other people like them. Kind people can be assertive and set good limits.
Toxic people care mostly about themselves. They don't think about how their actions affect others and believe they are better than everyone else. Someone who is self-centered is focused on getting what they want and is unlikely to compromise or consider another person's point of view.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
In the words of the experts, being overly nice is a defense mechanism to bury, hide, cover-up, dismiss, or filter out other emotions (sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously). Like any habit, it's not something that's easy to break or change and will take time, conscious awareness, and patience.
"It's nothing", "no problem", "no worries", "don't mention it", "not at all" or "sure thing": These are all common responses and most people wouldn't think twice if you use one of those.
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According to the Power of Positivity, when you are being too nice to others, you develop unrealistic expectations for them to do the same. When they do not meet these expectations, you may become angry and resentful.
Some of what holds people back from showing greater love is a sense that it would be dangerous and woolly-minded to do so. Too much sensitivity and sweetness, too much tolerance and sympathy appear to be the enemies of an appropriately grown-up and hard-headed existence.
Kindness is a strength within the virtue category of humanity, one of six virtues that subcategorize the 24 strengths. Humanity describes strengths that manifest in caring relationships with others. These strengths are interpersonal and are mostly relevant in one-on-one relationships.
But one of the biggest red flag personality traits, according to a Harvard Business School study, is the constant need to spread negativity. In other words, they are a pain to be around and their actions can make everyone's workday utterly miserable.
If you're unfailingly interested by every little thing your wife or girlfriend does, it's another sign you're too nice. Yes, you want to take an interest in her career, her family and her hobbies, but it's a bad sign if you're more interested in her life than you are in your own.